


Stepping into the Rain

by articlesofarribel



Series: How to be Heartbroken [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bkak is part of this, Dancing, Falling In Love, Getting to Know Each Other, Heartbreak, Iwaoi makes appearances, M/M, Psychological Trauma, Sexual Content, World Travel, is it even a college au?, kurosugu briefly, like realizing things, mostly just me projecting, some fluff some smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-19 01:42:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 38,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29499753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/articlesofarribel/pseuds/articlesofarribel
Summary: Sometimes everything falls apart and doesn't come back together. You just have to go rebuild it yourself.--orsomething less cliche sounding. Kuroo finds himself abroad.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Series: How to be Heartbroken [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2166891
Comments: 24
Kudos: 70





	1. Just the Same

**Author's Note:**

> Water  
> By Nikita Gill  
> "When they ask you why you love  
> the rain, the ocean, the river,  
> tell them  
> it is because  
> unlike the people  
> who should have  
> loved you better,  
> the water was never afraid  
> to touch you;  
> even when you were  
> at your most damaged  
> and broken"  
> \---  
> I apologize for the confusing flashbacks and time skips! I hope they were labeled in a way that they made enough sense. 
> 
> This is not a Kuroken story (sorry), but it's a heavily relevant relationship throughout the whole fic. At it's core this is Kuroo's story and is written and told from his perspective. There is no volleyball, everyone from Nekoma is somewhat exclusive to Kuroo's life in Japan! If this is confusing pls let me know.
> 
> I've set this as explicit though there's only a couple chapters that feat. X content. It's just easier this way! I'm first and foremost a chemist and haven't taken writing courses in ages so sorry in advance <3
> 
> Feel free to chat with me on twitter! I'll hear all your thoughts be them positive or negative (pls be nice).  
> https://twitter.com/arribelhq

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hopeful devotion is a dangerous thing. 
> 
> tw// mentions of self-harm esque behaviours, disordered eating mentioned.
> 
> Song of the chapter:  
> Just the Same - Bruno Major  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_63fRgbszE

**_Present Day_ **

_Sunday June 16_

10:34 “Could you bring me a vitamin water?”

10:36 Mom: “(◔_◔) Can’t you come down and get it yourself?”

10:36 “Please.”

His whole face ached. Sinuses still plugged and eyes nearly swollen shut. Kuroo was at home just for the weekend- Nan’s birthday was always a big deal, and he had managed to hold it together for the past two days. But, everything had been put on the table last night, and just like that it was all gone.

His mother knocked on the door and walked in with a scowl on her face. Her expression softening with remorse the second she laid eyes on him. Tissues littered around the room; hair slicked to his forehead. 

“I’m sorry… I just couldn’t get up.” He pleaded. His eyes stinging, as he struggled to say just that, the lump in his throat swelled, “thank you.”

The look on his face told her everything she needed to know.

“I’m sorry sweetie.” She leaned in and wrapped her arms around him. Collapsing at her touch, uncontrollable sobs overwhelmed him again.

\--

It had been _8 years_.

8 years of partnership. 8 years being in love with someone who just couldn’t love him the way he needed. Desperately fighting, clinging to that love.

Kenma was a good person. Kuroo knew that. He never cheated, he never harmed him, he just… he just wished he hadn’t let this carry on for so long.

Kuroo felt like such an idiot. Fighting so hard, for so long, for someone who would never fight for him. They had only broken up once before, four years ago, right before graduating high school. It was like history was repeating itself. Somehow, that first time was worse than now. He supposed it was because he had been hurt before, even now he was still a bit numb.

\--

**_May_ **

_Four Years Prior_

Kuroo sat in the dark at the top of his stairs. His chest was tight, his abs sore from coughing.

Kenma had asked him for _a break_ , a week ago. He was struggling mentally and overwhelmed at the prospect of graduation. Kuroo understood, and had no choice but to say yes. He would love Kenma just the same.

So, he would wait. Wait until he was ready for him again. In the meantime, he’d be here. Ready to do anything he asked.

Earlier this evening Yaku had said to him, hesitation in his voice, “Kuroo, I heard about something I think you should know.”

A sinking feeling washed through him, “Ok, go on.”

He explained to Kuroo that Kenma had been out of town. He said he was with someone, no one knew who it was. But Kuroo knew, and he didn’t have to ask.

In that moment everything around him broke. He returned home late, trying to avoid interaction with anyone.

00:04 “Yaku told me you were out of town. You were with him, weren’t you?”

00:15 Kenma: “I won’t lie to you. I was. But there was nothing going on, I just needed someone to talk to.”

00:30 _But you couldn’t talk to me? [Draft]_

Now there he sat. At the top of the stairs, sick to his stomach.

He ran his fingernails down his face, pressed them hard into his legs, trying to feel any pain other than the one burning a hole in his chest. They had fights before yes, but never in his life had he felt this kind of unbearable, consuming sadness.

In his head he knew Kenma had every right to hang out with anyone he chose. They weren’t together anymore. And even if they were, who was he to be mad at him for seeing a _friend_. But regardless he was broken. A silent vow of trust between them had been shattered, irrespective of what might have happened.

Never in his life had he felt weaker than that night sleeping on the bathroom floor. Overwhelming waves of nausea coming and going throughout the night.

Those days after were filled with self-destruction; it took a week for him to start eating again. And it was nearly two months before they talked. It’s not a simple task to recover from that. But, they talked about everything and Kenma begged him to take him back.

With only love on his mind, Kuroo did.

\--

**_Present_ **

Looking back on it all now, maybe they would’ve been better off not getting back together he thought. Then he wouldn’t have to go through this again.

But this time was real, it was final. And they were both fully aware.

\--

**_One month prior_ **

_May 13_

This was the second time they had went to a small concert together like this. Kenma had a way of finding amazing indie artists and forcing them into Kuroo’s life.

They both loved music, it was something that had always tied them together. Whether it be lazing around the piano randomly coming up with tunes, singing at the top of their lungs in the car, or attending small intimate concerts like these, it was a bond neither of them shared with anyone else.

“I’m not sure who the opener is, but if their touring with them then they’re pretty good” Kenma didn’t look up from his phone as he spoke. His fingers tapping away at some game.

They stood just outside the concert hall, thumbs in his pockets, his flannel unbuttoned and blowing lazily in the warm spring wind. There weren’t many people, just a few here and there around their age shuffling inside the large glass doors. The two of them headed inside, their hands stamped with small trumpets in exchange for their printed tickets.

Kuroo looked around the small venue, it could hold maybe 100 people. String bulb lights draped across the ceiling, and small stage against the back wall. No chairs, just standing room and a bar near the entrance. He was grateful they’d get to stand so close to the stage.

They had spent the last couple days listening to all the music from the band. Even though Kuroo had never heard of them before, they were incredible, and he was hooked easily. Just like Kenma to find them he thought to himself. He smiled down at his small frame.

“Let’s go up to the front before more people come in” he said wrapping his arm around Kenma’s shoulder.

“hm” Kenma hummed as an ok.

They found a spot right up front and off slightly to the side. The crowd of people poured in around them. Kuroo knew Kenma wasn’t too fond of crowds, but here he was in his element. Listening to his favorite music live all his anxiety seemed to melt away. Kuroo loved seeing that side of him. Completely unfazed by the chaos surrounding them and tuned in to each sound projected from the stage.

Things between them hadn’t always been painless. Just like any other couple they had their disagreements. But tonight… felt _good_. Kuroo always looked forward to having songs from concerts they attended together etched into his brain. Music video memories he could replay whenever he chose.

When the concert started, the opener came out, a thin man took the stage alone, with just a guitar slung across his chest.

Upon introducing himself, he announced his first song. “This first song is about knowing that you’re going to feel really down for a while, and just dealing with it and living in that sadness until it goes away.”

Kuroo looked down at Kenma beside him, hands now in his pockets, Kuroo’s arm around his shoulders still, he looked uninterested, apathetic. Patiently waiting to be impressed.

When he began playing the atmosphere of the small venue opened up. Everything shifted as though the night sky poured in around them. It was a soft song. Delicate, yet piercing. The crowd’s eyes wide on the one person on stage. Kuroo listened and clung to every word. The vibrato in his voice enchanting. This music sounded the way that love felt.

“ _...I'll tell myself another lie and pretend that you were never enough...”_

He felt the words penetrate his skin, smiling - it was so beautiful - he looked over at Kenma, and felt a piece of himself _break_.

Kuroo suddenly felt as though he wasn’t there anymore, an out of body experience. Only Kenma and the singer were in the room. Kenma’s eyes shown so bright, full of adoration, an expression that Kuroo couldn’t recall the last time it had been aimed at him.

Like someone in love.

He didn’t fully realize it then, what had happened in that moment, until a month later. The singer and the song had nothing to do with it. An unscalable chasm had opened between them.

Well, maybe it had always been there, but now, they could both see it clearly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This just came to me one day like a speeding truck and it needed to be written. I apologize for the confusing timeline at first, it clears up quickly I swear. I'm sorry for what I'm sure are numerous grammatical errors or confusing points of view.
> 
> ashgdhagsd please don't hate me kuroken stans I love them both so much. kiss kiss xx


	2. Fool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> song of the chapter:  
> Fool -Cavetown  
> Its even better live https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPGnqi2kpn8

**_June 16_ **

01:14

He stood on the stairs inside his parents’ house. Neck wet and sticky from hours of tears streaming down his face. The collar of his t-shirt hung loose from being pulled up to his eyes. The spring rain trickling outside the door.

Kenma looked pained, his hands in small fists, clutching at his sides. It felt so surreal, but almost like déjà vu. Like he had dreamt this all before.

They had sat in Kuroo’s room and talked for hours that felt like days. Unpacking all their feelings that had been trapped under the guise of a perfect relationship for so long.

They had grown up together, all of their firsts were together, they had always been together, one unit, one person. Now separating.

An old clock ticked away somewhere down a hall. It was late, everyone long asleep by now.

Kuroo knew this was coming, he had felt it in his bones.

After Kenma graduated college he had moved back to his parents’ house and their relationship worsened. Kuroo tried asking Kenma what his plans were, what he wanted to do with his life. Work? More schooling? Video games wouldn’t pay the bills now. A part of him thought Kenma was too prideful to move in with him being unable to cover his half of the expenses but Kuroo knew better.

They had danced around the subject for years, excuses always coming up. More recently it had become obvious, Kenma just didn’t want to take the step of moving in together. 

He had no drive, quite opposite of Kuroo, who had so many plans for his life that he was determined to achieve. He was still a kid, a bit scared of the world and the prospect of growing up. Kuroo thought maybe Kenma was depressed, maybe it didn’t have anything to do with their relationship, well, that’s what he hoped. If only he could inspire him to grow up, then everything would be perfect.

But he knew things weren’t working for them. No one should need their partner to change for things to be right.

When he received a text from Kenma, a few days before he was to head to his parents for the weekend, he knew exactly what was going to happen.

“I think we should talk this weekend.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

Kuroo wouldn’t say it was a mutual break. Really, Kenma stopped loving him first. But he was the one who was done fighting for it. The break itself was somehow the kindest breakup someone could hope for. It was honest, loving, and heart breaking all at once.

They spoke quietly, slowly, drawing the moment out. Kuroo milking it for all it was worth.

“I won’t be here next time you know.” Kuroo tried his best to be angry but it came out weak, his voice hoarse. His previously broken heart falling apart all over again, “I’ll probably buy a one-way ticket somewhere and be gone.”

Kenma maintained fierce eye contact with him, out of character, looking more broken than Kuroo had ever seen. His eyes were red, lashes wet and glistening in the dim light of the hall.

“I know. And ... I’m sorry.” He choked out. He leaned in to Kuroo’s chest and wrapped his arms around him for what would be the final time. Kuroo’s fingers laced into Kenma’s hair, pulling his head to his heart. He fought to keep his head up, despite the sinking urge to nuzzle down into Kenma’s neck.

It felt like hours had passed when he finally relaxed his arms allowing Kenma to pull back. They looked longingly into each other’s eyes and let out a simple “Goodbye”.

\--

All along he thinks Kenma must have known it would come down to this. Kuroo had always loved harder, fiercer. He romanticized a future that would never come and held out hope that it would somehow work. He had broken himself down so many times just fighting to be everything Kenma needed and wanted of him.

He moved hours away from his friends and family to be closer to him during his final year of university. Kuroo had graduated the year before but chose to put finding a long-term job on hold while Kenma was still in school. They had gone to schools in different prefectures so Kenma already had roommates established. Kuroo moved into an apartment by himself to spend the year closer to him. He picked up a low-level full-time job in an office to pass the time and spent too much thought imagining how flawless life would be when Kenma finally graduated.

The truth was, Kenma just didn’t want any of that.

He didn’t want _him_.

What a waste of time he thought to himself. Lying in his childhood bed, unable to sleep, all his decisions replaying in his head. 

Kuroo had always wanted to travel abroad somewhere, maybe pursue a graduate degree. In his head he had always had his whole life planned out, and his whole life revolved around Kenma. All his imaginary plans for his life were planned with Kenma in mind. They had been together since they were 14, why would that ever change? He had been willing to wait. For him. Maybe he’d wake up one day and finally realize that Kuroo was the one for him.

But he had finally given up on waiting.

He sat up in his bed, clutching a tissue box between his knees. His eyes and nose were red and swollen.

What kind of fool was he to think that someone would want to be with him their whole life? That their young love would, could, survive this long? Did he _actually_ think some epiphany would come from simply graduating university? He had held on to that small chance for far too long and wasted away under its semblance. The words from their conversation repeated in his head,

“You won’t compromise on anything for me?... You won’t sacrifice anything for me.”

The last part was a statement, not a question. The guilt on Kenma’s face was palpable. He didn’t say much in response to Kuroo, but his expressions were telling enough.

They both knew they were getting farther and farther apart.

“ _So_ fucking close...” Kuroo’s head had rolled back, his eyes clenched shut, willing the world away, “I thought I’d have everything. I thought we’d have everything.”

Kenma’s lips trembled at Kuroo’s words. Kenma knew he was holding Kuroo back. He didn’t want Kuroo changing his plans, changing his life, for him anymore. They had both felt it for a while and he thought again about that moment at the concert.

They had simply fallen out of love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the pain ends soon <3


	3. Someday You will be Loved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song of the Chapter:  
> Someday You will be Loved - Death Cab for Cutie  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-CFv72J3_U

**_July 2_ **

11:14 “Hey, was just wondering if you were in town. Would love to catch up!”

It was worth a shot he figured. If there’s any chance, then now’s the time, right?

He and Suguru had always been acquaintances, if not somewhat friends. Truly they had a lot in common, and Kuroo always thought they would pair well together but neither of them was ever single at the same time to give anything a shot.

He didn’t think he was chasing anything, he just thought this was his one opportunity to shoot his shot. He knew Suguru had recently moved back to his parents for the summer and was probably bored. While they’re both in town why not hang out?

11:31 Suguru: “Oh hey, yeah I’m here for a while. Happy to meet up sometime.”

11:32 “Great! Wanna meet at the coffee shop by the school around 14:00 tomorrow?”

11:40 Suguru: “sounds good!”

He was over it. He wasn’t holding on to the thought that maybe Kenma would want him back. He knew it was over, and therefore he was over it. Right? _Right_. He was lucky to have some amazing friends rooting for him through all of this.

Yaku and Kai had always been Kuroo’s biggest fans. They were there through the first time Kenma broke his heart, and didn’t fight him when they subsequently got back together two months later. They were the best kind of friends. Tough when you needed them to be, but soft and caring all at once.

Kuroo rolled over on the couch to face Yaku who was fervently writing in a notepad.

“Do you think Suguru was interested in me way back then?”

Yaku scrunched up his face in thought, “He’s hard to read, I never really got to know him. But you’re super hot so why wouldn’t he?” he stated matter of factly.

Kuroo grinned and left out a relieved sigh, “I suppose you’re right. _I am hot._ I just want a bit of a summer fling ya know?” he sat up to take a swig of his water.

“Are you sure you’re alright man? I mean, I just don’t want you to get more hurt...” Kai had returned from the kitchen, “Ya know he’s not really a nice guy,” Kai smirked and looked at Kuroo, “But I suppose you’re kind of a jerk too aren’t you?”

Kuroo winked at him. “Me? No, never.”

When Kenma and him and separated just before Kenma graduated high school he and Suguru were hanging out. Nothing ever came of it because Kenma and him ended up back together in a matter of months anyway. But, Kuroo always thought that maybe there could’ve been something. But he was so broken and devoted to Kenma he wouldn’t have been able to figure it out then. He could never really figure out if Suguru saw him as anything more than a friend. They had a lot of similar interests not to mention liking the same music. Suguru played guitar and had even pulled it out to play for Kuroo once. He thought that was pretty suggestive in itself.

“Well I’d better get going, ma’s got a bunch of people coming over for dinner and wants me to come over help cook.” Kai said. He grabbed his water bottle and headed out, “Let me know how it goes ok? We can meet up on Thursday at my place!”

“Sounds like a plan,” Kuroo replied with a thumbs up. Yaku simply nodded.

Yaku turned to him with a more serious look on his face, Kuroo thought it looked a bit silly on him.

“Yes sir?” Kuroo looked at him a bit confused.

“It’s just… I worry about you,” Yaku looked down at his hands now, “please just be careful with yourself ok?”

Kuroo was slightly surprised but he understood the sentiment. He had been trying so hard to seem fine to everyone. But of course, Yaku knew he was struggling inside.

“I appreciate you,” Kuroo smiled at him, trying his best to project his gratitude, “I’ll be alright.”

Yaku gave him a suspicious smile but turned his eyes back to his notebook. Kuroo stared up at the ceiling fan, already fantasizing about his meet up with Suguru.

\--

**_July 3_ **

Kuroo was more excited for today than he had been about anything lately. He had gotten up early to go for a run before sitting anxiously around his apartment until it was time to leave.

He stepped into the bathroom throwing his sweat soaked shirt to the floor. What kind of idiot goes for a run in this heat? It was only just 11:00 now but the sun was already blazing down. He stopped and stared into his slowly fogging mirror.

_I can do this._ He thought to himself. It had been four years since he last spoke with Suguru but he was sure nothing would be weird between them. He smacked his cheeks. _Stop thinking about it._ He stepped into the shower, letting the boiling hot water burn his skin for a bit before turning it cool.

Kuroo stood naked in his room, contemplating combinations of shirts and shorts laid out on his bed. He settled with black shorts and a loose fitting khaki button up. He wasn’t trying to _seduce_ Suguru necessarily, but he did want to look his best.

Walking to the coffee shop he shot a last-minute message to Yaku and Kai.

13:47 “Headed over, wish me luck men.”

13:50 Yaku “Try to bite your tongue for once.”

13:51 Kai “What he said.”

13:51 “I appreciate your support :’)”

_Dicks_. Still, he chuckled. He knew they meant well.

Walking into the coffee shop a bit early ( _always early_ ) he hung his sunglasses on the neck of his shirt. He ordered a cold brew and found a comfortable spot under a fan.

Suguru walked in a few minutes after Kuroo had sat down. He spotted him quickly and got up to greet him.

“Long time no see!” Kuroo grinned as he walked over to him, “glad to see you’re still looking good” he said with an obvious look over Suguru.

“Looking good yourself Kuroo-san,” he said with a wink, “Did you order something already?”

“Oh yeah, had to grab something to cool down,” Kuroo gestured to the table where his coffee sat, “order whatever you’d like, my treat.”

“Oh how _generous_ of you,” Suguru said slyly, rolling his eyes a bit, “I’ll have an iced americano, no cream please.” He said to the barista.

They waited a short moment for Suguru’s drink and returned to the table. Even though it had been such a long time since they spoke they immediately dove into a conversation about what manga’s they’ve been reading, how awful their degrees were, and how it’s weird to see what everyone is doing with their lives now.

“You studied chemistry huh? What do you expect to do with that?” Suguru spoke in a mock-judgmental voice, “you want to go make drugs?”

Kurro chuckled, “Actually, I’m hoping to go back to school and get a master’s degree.”

Suguru blinked, “And study what? a master’s in chemistry?” Despite his constant sarcastic tone, he was genuinely interested.

“Well, it’s not really that chemistry related but I want to work in public health. I used to think I’d go into pharmaceuticals, but I’ve learned how bad the industry is. I hope that maybe I can actually help people if I work in public health.” Kuroo was a bit embarrassed. His smartass façade faded when he talked about things like this. He was inspired at some point during the last year to pursue this.

“That’s... oddly noble of you.” Suguru smirked, “but yah, good for you! I’m actually hoping to go to law school next year.” Kuroo could see his mask crack just a bit. That was the Suguru he used to know. He liked to pretend he was mean and sneaky, but he was an intellectual at heart. That was something they always had in common. Suguru could really keep up with Kuroo in conversation, whether it be a debate about politics, or last week’s jump, they both could talk each other’s ears off.

They talked for what ended up being a few hours before the shop was closing.

“Do you wanna watch a movie sometime or something?” Kuroo asked hesitantly. At this age you’d think he’d be more confident. But hanging out with Suguru he felt like he was 18 again.

“Sure,” Suguru smiled coyly, “Come over Friday night to my place.” Suguru just winked as he turned away, walking to his car.

“See you then,” Kuroo waved. Relief washed over him. Maybe this was something. Suguru clearly didn’t hate him, right? He wouldn’t have asked him over if he didn’t like him. But did he want what Kuroo did? Does Kuroo even know what he wants?

\--

**_July 4_ **

“Men, I have a date!” Kuroo proudly proclaimed practically busting down Kai’s door. Yaku jumped at the intrusion while Kai simply rolled his eyes and looked back at the television.

“Could you please have some manners.” Yaku had gotten up to shut the door Kuroo had left swinging open. Kuroo chuckled and took off his shoes before settling into an armchair.

“Oh come on aren’t you guys proud of me? I don’t think I’ve ever technically been asked and gone on a date.” Kuroo was beaming at them.

Not turning away from the television Kai replied, “Well it’s not _that_ shocking... you were unavailable your entire adult life.”

“He’s right you know. You two were inseparable, of course no one was going to ask you out.” Yaku replied earnestly.

“I suppose I am quite a catch though aren’t I,” Kuroo winked. Yaku threw a pillow at him.

“Oh shut it. So, what’s the plan?”

Kuroo gave them all the details of their coffee shop meet up, which he supposes wasn’t technically a date, but it felt like a date. And proceeded to tell them how Suguru actually invited him over.

“So… you two are going to watch a movie together… at his parent’s house?” Kai’s forehead scrunched up at the thought.

“Well he said his parents were out for the week, off on a vacation somewhere so he’s got the house to himself.”

“Oh ho ho, you don’t say,” Yaku grinned at Kuroo, “Well just don’t jump to any conclusions. It’s just a hookup, right?”

Kuroo hesitated, “Yeah, just a hookup. God knows I need it.”

\--

**_July 5_ **

21:00

Kuroo couldn’t help but be perfectly punctual. He had a habit of showing up early everywhere, so he drove in circles for a while before parking and walking up to Suguru’s house. He had been here before nearly exactly four years ago.

\--

Kenma really did dump him that time. They were both young and immature, Kenma more so. “Breaks” aren’t real Kuroo thought. You either want to be with someone or you don’t. Now, he understood, he should’ve been all or nothing. 

Their relationship was never the same after that. There were times that everything felt perfect and hopeful but in the back of his mind Kuroo was always anxious. He worried he wasn’t good enough and constantly sought reassurance. This drove Kenma mad, thinking Kuroo didn’t trust him. Looking back on it all he knew that some form of love was always there. But just because two people love each other, doesn’t mean they’re meant to be.

\--

Kuroo was dressed casually, his comfiest hoodie and sweats. He had never been intimate with another person beside Kenma and he thought being comfortable was a good place to start right? He looked charming in anything anyway.

“Hey,” Suguru’s mouth curved into a smile as he eyed Kuroo coming up the walkway to his house, “funny seeing you here.”

“Oh shit, I was supposed to meet someone at this address,” Kuroo mocked confusion, “have you seen an arrogant snake slithering around somewhere?” he jeered, stepping through the door.

“You never change, do you?” Suguru’s words were dry but his mouth showed a twinge of happiness. Despite their often harsh words to each other, they were clearly flirting. Just, in the way only the two of them could.

Suguru guided him into the living room. His house was lavish. Kuroo couldn’t remember what his parents did but they were clearly wealthy. The room was spacious, a large round couch across the center of the room, but oddly there was no TV. They _were_ going to watch a movie, weren’t they?

“uh,” Kuroo looked at the empty wall, set up exactly where a television would be.

“Oh, heh,” Suguru walked over and grabbed a remote sitting on the arm of the couch, “see.”

Suguru pushed a button on the remote and instantly Kuroo figured it out. A large screen came down from the ceiling and a projector mounted on the ceiling clicked on. It really was like a little theater.

“Well that’s pretty neat,” Kuroo shook his head slightly shocked.

Suguru just smirked and took a spot on the couch, he patted the spot beside him and Kuroo made himself comfortable. They settled on an old Tarantino film. Something they both were weirdly obsessed with.

They _actually_ sat, and watched, the entire three-hour movie… without touching each other. Kuroo was now questioning all his previous thoughts that this was a date. Were they just hanging out? Suguru was definitely gay, but maybe he just thought of Kuroo as an old friend?

“Hey so uh,” Kuroo was surprised by Suguru’s words. It had been silent for too long, “you and Kenma broke up right?”

_Oh God_. He hadn’t told him. He just assumed he knew.

“Oh, uh yeah,” he smiled sheepishly, “it was a long time coming, but yeah, over for real this time.” Kuroo rubbed the back of his neck.

“phew! Ok,” Suguru breathed. And just as the gears in Kuroo’s head had stopped grinding, Suguru grabbed the back of his neck, “come here.”

Kuroo was pulled into a harsh kiss. Quicker than he expected, Suguru snuck his tongue into his mouth.

Everything went faster than Kuroo could process. He didn’t know what to do with his hands. What did he usually do with his hands? Should he keep his eyes shut? There was no textbook to making out with someone.

Suguru shifted, climbing on top of Kuroo, straddling him on the couch, “I’ve always wanted to do this,” he said breathlessly.

“Oh yeah?” Kuroo said between hot fevered kisses. Suguru had moved along Kuroo’s jaw. “Why didn’t you make a move before huh?”

“You weren’t ready for me then.” Suguru had one hand still behind Kuroo’s neck, the other around his ribcage.

For a moment Kuroo thought, maybe this could be a thing? He didn’t have to go anywhere; he could just find a program here. Suguru was fun, they got along great, and he excited Kuroo.

Suguru’s hips grinded down on Kuroo. They were clearly both aroused now. Kuroo’s breath hitched and Suguru trailed his tongue down the side of his neck. Kuroo dragged his nails harshly down Suguru’s back. In response Suguru bit down gently, the sucked hard at the base of his neck. Kuroo slid his hands under Suguru’s t-shirt, running his fingers up and down his slender torso. He gripped his hips and pulled him down increasing the friction between them.

Suguru stopped suddenly, a devilish smile across his face. He slid off the couch and on to the floor running his hands down Kuroo’s thighs.

Kuroo’s eyes wide, he looked down at Suguru, “Just relax” Suguru hissed.

Suguru reached up under Kuroo’s shirt, playfully running the tips of his fingers along his hip bones. He slowly slipped his fingers under the waistband of both his sweats and his boxers, pulling them down in one swift movement.

Kuroo’s hand instinctively shot up to cover his face, flush with embarrassment. Suguru looked up at him, his smile oddly gentle. He reached up and grabbed Kuroo’s hand, pulling it away from his face slowly and releasing it at his side. Suguru paused, giving Kuroo a careful look- a question.

Kuroo he nodded in consent, and let out a small chuckle. Never had anyone been this forward with him. He had never felt submissive. He had never felt soft like this. It was nice, but other thoughts began to plague his mind.

Suguru had taken Kuroo completely into in mouth, head bobbing gently. Kuroo’s breaths were shallow. Suddenly, his throat tensed up and he let out a small cough. Suguru pulled away with a pop and looked up at him.

A single tear rolled down Kuroo’s cheek. He reached his hand up, confused, wiped it away and looked back at his hand.

“I…” was the only thing Kuroo could muster. Suguru sat back on his feet, a concerned look on his face.

“It’s ok,” Suguru looked down at the floor, then back at Kuroo. He sat up and pulled Kuroo’s boxers back up for him. “You’re not ready, its fine.”

Kuroo’s eyes welled and he buried his face in Suguru’s shoulder. “I-I’m sorry, it’s not you, I just,” his words were shaky. “I just thought, maybe, I could do this.”

“Please don’t feel sorry for me,” Kuroo wiped tears away from his face with his sleeve. Suguru had the most pitiful look in his eyes. “I want this, just give me a moment.”

Suguru set his palm on Kuroo’s cheek, “it’s ok, I promise.” Kuroo wasn’t used to this side of him. Terribly kind and shockingly soft. He pulled Kuroo into a deep hug.

“A time will come when you’ll be ready to love,” he spoke softly just beside Kuroo’s ear, “and someday you will be loved.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in love with Daishou Suguru and now you are too.  
> Woooo this one was quite long, and somehow they get even longer...


	4. Left Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo gets away.
> 
> Song of the Chapter:  
> Left Side - Eloise  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8koUC-NyQHY

**_September_ **

He didn’t even know where Kenma was. They deliberately had not seen each other or spoken since that night. Both knowing how impossible any sort of friendship would be. Occasionally his mother would ask about him, trying to make simple conversation, not realizing how much it grieved him.

“Do you know what he’s up to nowadays?”

“No.”

“Is he back home?”

“I don’t know.”

Kuroo did his best to avoid him on social media. Kenma wasn’t one to post often anyway, but Kuroo muted his accounts to spare himself. He knew if he popped up, he wouldn’t be able to resist digging through his posts and likes to find out everything that had happened to him since they last spoke.

Admittedly, he thought he was doing pretty well. He had caught up with some old friends and gone out drinking a few times. Something he never would have done when Kenma and him were together.

Although he wouldn’t say it outright, Kenma always thought down on people who drank. His judgment was passive but evident. Even if it was just a casual cocktail. Kuroo thought his family was just too uptight and maybe when he went to University, he’d realize it’s not the horrible thing it was made out to be. Kuroo liked to have a drink here and there and even then, he knew Kenma didn’t approve.

Suguru and him still talked occasionally. Just as friends, and it was uncomplicated that way. Kuroo’s family seemed to think he was more himself without Kenma already. They loved seeing him let loose and have fun after so many years of holding his personality back, desperately trying to be someone he wasn’t. The last couple months of his lease were dedicated to having as much fun as possible before his departure. He was so grateful that his family was supportive of him even if they sometimes struck a nerve.

“ _I liked him, but he just wasn’t for you”_

_“You seem so much happier now.”_

He knew the intention behind comments like these was good, but it made him angry. It made him feel stupid. As if _they_ knew ‘ _all along_ ’ that they weren’t right for each other. As if it was some obvious thing that he didn’t know about.

It wasn’t, it was never like that.

But it’s true what they say, you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. And in this case, you don’t know how bad something is until you’re out of it.

\--

He had done exactly as he said. A one-way ticket away from everything he’s ever known. Away from his family, away from his friends, _away from Kenma_. Kuroo loved Japan. He loved Tokyo. It would always be his home, but he needed to get away. Despite the moments of enjoyment he’d had when visiting his family, he felt pained by all the memories left in that town. It was all a constant reminder of who he was with Kenma.

As he rode with his mother to the airport, he didn’t feel sad. He just felt ready. Ready for something new. A fresh start. As cliché as it was, he wanted to really find himself while abroad. Being completely alone, in a country unknown to him, was the perfect way to do that.

Kuroo had accepted an offer for a graduate program in the United Kingdom. He knew this was an opportunity of a lifetime and something he had always dreamed of doing, so he was going to go for it.

They parked to haul his three large suitcases to the terminal.

“I’m sorry I can’t fly with you,” his mother’s voice was already shaking, “Please let me know as soon as you land and when you get to your apartment.”

“It’ll be 4 AM for you but of course I will.” Kuroo smiled, setting his hand on her shoulder. “Let’s go, I don’t want to get caught in security.”

They wheeled his baggage to the check in counter and got his boarding pass squared away. Kuroo had always been an independent person. Applying for schools and jobs without the help of anyone. He had spent the last year working trying to save money for him and Kenma to move somewhere together. Little did he know all that money would be going to something like this. He liked it that way. He liked knowing that he could do everything on his own and this was nothing different. 

As they approached security, he stopped to hug his mother for the last time in a while. He didn’t know when he would be able to return or when she would be able to come visit. His father’s health was poor, and she couldn’t be away from him for long periods of time. They shared a long embrace before finally saying goodbye.

“Love you, kiddo,” she smiled, her eyes glistening in the fluorescent lights of the airport, “be safe ok?”

“Oh you know me, I’m never reckless,” he winked back hoping to lighten not only her mood but his own, “I love you too Mom. I’ll uh… I’ll see you soon.”

She kissed his cheek and he turned to begin his weave through the security queue. As soon as he gathered his backpack and shoes from the belt, he went to find somewhere comfortable to sit before he boarded. He put his headphones in and looked out at the tarmac through a window. _Time to go._

_…and move far away, and just keep going ‘till I forget all about your face…_

His English was good enough, but he was still intimidated. He wasn’t scared per say – more nervous. He wasn’t scared of being alone. He wasn’t scared of getting lost or fumbling his words. He was only scared of not growing. Or, at least he had convinced himself of this.

\--

The flight was lengthy, he tried to sleep as much as he could. Upon landing he gathered his things and caught a taxi to his new home.

His cab pulled up to the old house where his apartment was- erm flat- where his flat was. After lugging all his suitcases up a stairwell, he walked into his new home. It was a tiny one bedroom flat, just big enough for him. It was completely empty, just him and his bags.

He laid down in the middle of the empty living room, a relaxed sigh seeping out of him. His phone was buzzing.

13:45 Bokuto: “Hey!! Have you landed? Let me know when you arrive!! (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ”

13:49 “Just got to my place. Thank you again for loaning me a sleeping bag.”

13:50 Bokuto: “OF COURSE! Anything else you need??”

13:53 “I think I’ll be alright for now. Thanks!”

Kuroo was lucky. His program coordinator had linked him up with another student in his program who was the same age. They had emailed a few times over the last month and exchanged phone numbers. He felt relieved knowing there was at least one person he knew here.

He laid all his suitcases out on the floor. He would have to manage for a few days before the furniture he ordered would arrive. He had told Bokuto that his bed wouldn’t be in few a couple days and he graciously offered to bring him a sleeping bag and a pillow. Bokuto seemed like one of those friends that you meet, and you instantly click with. And so far, their messages had shown that. He was enthusiastic and full of energy. Kuroo looked forward to becoming real friends with him.

When Bokuto arrived, he had a box full of things in his hands.

“I thought I’d bring you some welcome gifts!” his eyes gleamed as he handed the box over to Kuroo.

“Oh wow, you really didn’t have to do that.” Kuroo smiled sheepishly. He was overwhelmed with his hospitality. It looked like an assortment of British snacks he had never heard of.

“This place is nice!” He shouted walking in and making himself at home, “you can put a couch right here, and a desk over here maybe, oh and can I use your bathroom?” He smiled, hand rubbing the back of his neck.

Kuroo was a bit taken aback by his forwardness but nonetheless welcomed it. “Of course, it’s right there.” He pointed in the direction of the bathroom.

He rummaged through the package while Bokuto used the restroom. There was a postcard with a beautiful landscape pictured on it inside with a message:

_“Kuroo!! Welcome to England! I’ve put together a small snack survival box for you with some English treats! I hope you enjoy them_ (ᵔᴥᵔ) _Love, Bokuto x”_

For such a big burly man he sure was a softy, Kuroo thought. When Bokuto returned from the restroom Kuroo had propped the card up in the window.

“Thanks man,” he said turning to face him.

Bokuto grinned, looked over at the card, and held up his palms, “Oh its nothing! Remember if you need anything else don’t hesitate to ask!”

After Bokuto left Kuroo felt oddly at home. Despite having no furniture, despite being completely alone, he felt… comfortable. This was where he would heal. This was where he’d find himself. He was right where he was supposed to be.

\--

Healing isn’t linear. Kuroo knew that. He couldn’t decide if it was harder or easier dealing with it here though. Not yet at least.

That first night was cold. He switched on all the heaters, but they were slow to warm the old building. He sat half in his sleeping bag, propped up against the wall scrolling on his phone.

_I wonder if he knows I’ve left._

_I wonder if he cares I left._

He tried to push the thoughts away, but it was no use. He held his hands to his warm cheeks. Might as well start unpacking these feelings now.

Silently, streams of tears rolled down his face. He took deep breaths and played some wordless music trying to ease his train of thought. He didn’t expect the nights to be easy. Kuroo sunk down and closed his eyes, letting the soft beats pull him into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> catch me on the bird app   
> twitter.com/arribelhq  
> <3


	5. Not My Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song of the chapter:  
> Not My Baby - Alvvays  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7IRuQvlsDk

**_October_ **

School began and Kuroo was settling into his new home. He spent his free time walking the city streets and studying. He hadn’t had a chance to go out anywhere yet since the first few weeks of school were intense and he had to spend extra time working on the language they used, but Bokuto had invited him out to a club on Friday. 

14:23 Bokuto: “ARE YOU PUMPED FOR THIS WEEKEND (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞”

14:26 “Yeah can’t wait!”

14:27 Bokuto: “My partner is coming, so excited for you to meet him!!”

14:28 Bokuto: “You’re more than welcome to come back to our place after, it’s close by! (ᵔᴥᵔ)”

14:30: “Oh thanks, I might have to! We’ll see how the night goes.”

The prospect of trying to find his way home in this labyrinth of a city, drunk on a Friday night, was a bit intimidating he had to admit. He hadn’t had much time to really get to know Bokuto so this weekend would be a good opportunity.

He was feeling good about where he was. He had been looking at his phone less and doing things for himself more. Kenma’s birthday came and went without Kuroo giving it an extra thought.

Kenma had never been one to care about birthday’s anyway. Kuroo always made an effort to make Kenma’s birthday special, but he never reciprocated that same thoughtfulness to Kuroo. He went out of his way to procure personal and considerate gifts, while Kenma, usually just asked him for an idea and ordered that thing, giving it to him late, without a card.

Tonight, for the first time in many years, he was simply buried in some research and looking forward to an exciting weekend with his friend.

Some nights the sadness washed over him, but he accepted it. Let it come down. He hadn’t had a chance to tell Bokuto about his heartbreak, he wasn’t even sure if he knew his sexuality. Regardless, he acted as though they had been friends their whole life.

Kuroo leaned back in his desk chair, stretching his arms over his head. _This is where I belong._ He set his phone down and went back to reading articles. Lo-fi beats tapping away in the background.

\--

Friday rolled around quickly, and they had been released from their first seminar early.

“Want to go grab some lunch with me?” Bokuto’s bright smile beamed at him.

Hand to his stomach Kuroo replied, “Yeah I don’t think I’ll make it through the next lesson without some food.”

“Great! I know just the place!” Bokuto clapped Kuroo’s back and they headed off across campus.

They walked up to a small café adjacent to the school and took their seats at a table near the windows. _This city is amazing_ Kuroo thought to himself. It was so unlike Tokyo. The architecture, the sounds, the smells, everything was foreign, and he loved it. He loved being somewhere where no one knew him. Somewhere where no one knew who he used to be. No one who identified him as _‘him and Kenma’_.

They had been together for so long it was like they were one person. He had a hard time understanding who he was without him. Every friend he had only knew who he was with Kenma.

But here, he was just Kuroo.

“So, what made you decide to come here? England of all places?” Bokuto asked, an inquisitive look in his round eyes.

Kuroo gazed out the window in thought. He knew eventually he’d need a proper answer for this question.

“Well, I visited here once when I was younger and I dreamed about coming back,” he said simply. Bokuto eyed him, knowing there was more to it.

“Now was just the right time in my life, and honestly I needed to get away for a while.” _If not forever_ he thought. Kuroo went back to eating his sandwich and Bokuto smiled at him.

“I hope it’s all you dreamed it would be,” Bokuto said earnestly. He didn’t ask anything else and they carried on eating.

“Tell me about your partner, what’s he like?” Kuroo sipped at his tea.

Bokuto’s face lit up at the question, “Oh Akaashi?” he giggled slightly, “well we’ve been together for 5 years now. We both were in love for a long time before we finally realized it.” His face flushed and he ran his fingers through his wild hair.

“He’s kind of quiet, well compared to me I guess he’s pretty quiet. But we take care of each other. He works for an editorial, so he gets to work from home a lot which is nice.” Kuroo could see the love on Bokuto’s face, _that look_.

It was nice to see that side of Bokuto. He’s generally a walking exclamation point, talking loud and quick, but at times he let the gentle part of himself surface.

They headed back to campus in time for their lecture. Bokuto had studied sports and exercise science before pursuing this degree. It was evident from his perfect posture and chiseled frame. Occasionally during class, he would poke the back of Kuroo’s head, indicating to him that he was slouching in his chair. Kuroo would roll his eyes at him and straighten up, mocking being perfectly proper in his sitting etiquette. He thought it was endearing. Even though they had two different fields of study they talked about both of their interests endlessly. It meshed into their current study well.

After class they stood at the corner where they would part.

“I’ll meet you back here at 20:00 ok? Don’t want you getting lost.” Bokuto raised his brows at Kuroo, one corner of his mouth turning up.

“Yeah for sure, dress code?”

“Casual but nice? Something you’re comfortable dancing in,” Bokuto shook his hips a bit and did a stupid spin, nearly flinging his laptop out of his unzipped backpack.

“Hah, alright man, I’ll see you then.” Kuroo waved him off and journeyed home.

He hadn’t been dancing in… well had he ever really been out dancing? Not since his freshman year of university probably. If you could consider what he did at a disgusting house party dancing; he knew tonight wouldn’t hold a candle to that.

Kuroo got back to his flat and hopped in the shower. _I should text Yaku and Kai_ he thought. With the time difference they hadn’t arranged a time to do a group call yet but they texted occasionally in their group chat.

16:36 “I’m going out to a club tonight men! Send good vibes my way!”

16:40 Yaku: “I’m trying to sleep please shut the fuck up.”

16:41 Kai: “goodsl uck K”

16:42 “Hehe, sorry luv you~”

Kuroo set his phone back on the counter and shook his hair out with his towel. He looked down at the comb beside him then looked back at himself in the mirror. _There’s really no use_ he chuckled to himself and put his comb back in the drawer.

Kuroo dressed in black joggers with far too many pockets and a simple olive-green t-shirt. It was chilly outside, but he didn’t want to bother with a coat he knew he’d take off anyway. He settled on the couch to watch some TV before heading out.

He had this overwhelming feeling of freedom he had never had before. Japan wasn’t the most progressive country and he had never really lived in an area with so many other young people. During his undergrad everyone was more like children. Kuroo enjoyed being childish from time to time don’t get him wrong; but here and now was different- he really felt grown up.

\--

Kuroo put on his watch and some white sneakers and headed out to be Bokuto and Akaashi. He lived a way from their meeting point near the school, so he left about 20 mins in advance.

“BROOOO!!” Bokuto shouted upon seeing him round the corner. He ran over to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder dragging him over to a patient looking man.

“Kuroo, Akaashi, Akaashi, Kuroo!” Bokuto beamed at both of them, nearly bouncing from excitement.

“Nice to meet you Kuroo-san.” Akaashi smiled, waving gently to him. Prominent cheekbones glowed under the streetlamps. He was really beautiful Kuroo thought, jade eyes sitting hidden under thick dark lashes.

“W-wait, do you speak Japanese?!” Kuroo practically screamed at him. He hadn’t had an opportunity to speak Japanese to anyone since he had moved, with the exception of phone calls with his mother. Bokuto was simply giddy upon their meeting.

“My parents are both from Japan, but I was born and raised here,” Akaashi responded giving Bokuto an amused look, “I see he didn’t tell you that.”

“Ha well yeah Hun I wanted to surprise him!” Bokuto grabbed Akaashi’s hand and held it with both of his, “Well anyway, let’s get going!” and off they went.

\--

The club was loud and colorful. Paper lanterns and various shapes of rainbow lights littered the ceiling. Colorful lighted panels lined the floor. Kuroo looked around in awe, it was unlike any bar or club he had ever been to.

“What would you two like to drink? I’ll go grab them.”

“Awh babe you’re too sweet” Bokuto cooed planting a small peck to Akaashi’s cheek. “I’ll take the usual.”

“Gin and tonic for me, thanks,” Kuroo replied and Akaashi glided off through the crowd to the bar. He and Bokuto managed to find an alcove with a couch and a chair off in a corner.

Akaashi returned with drinks and some small plastic containers in his hand.

“Wh-“Kuroo began to ask what he had but was cut off quickly.

“JELLO SHOTS!” Bokuto shouted in excitement and clapped his hands.

“A bit of a treat to celebrate you being here,” Akaashi winked at Kuroo and passed him one.

They all took the shots and downed their drinks quickly before heading on to the floor. As the night progressed, they drank more and danced their asses off. Bokuto kept loudly proclaiming to people that Kuroo had moved from Japan and encouraging people to buy him drinks in celebration. Akaashi was a pretty good dancer, Bokuto on the other hand may have been the most obnoxious person there, constantly grabbing Kuroo’s hand spinning him, and pulling Akaashi into dramatic dips.

It was all so fun. More fun than he had had in so long. He was making every decision of his own will, doing whatever he wanted and not looking back.

_He would’ve never done this with me._

Hours had passed and they were all drunk and exhausted. The trio headed out back to Bokuto and Akaashi’s flat. They only lived a couple blocks from the club in a very nice two-bedroom place.

“Let me get it,” Akaashi said grabbing the keys from a fumbling Bokuto.

“ ’Kaaaashiii!!” Bokuto practically flung himself on to Akaashi’s back. Kuroo was amazed Akaashi didn’t topple over under his weight.

They entered the flat, Akaashi threw Bokuto on to the couch and subsequently sat down beside him. Kuroo settled into an armchair, dizziness hitting him.

“Let me grab some water for you two,” Akaashi said and headed off to the kitchen. He was the most sober of them all.

“Thank you,” Kuroo said, chugging the water as if he was dying of thirst. Bokuto nearly spilled his glass all over himself but the shock of the cool water woke him up a bit.

“Did you have fun man?” Bokuto asked.

“Yeah, I uh- actually haven’t felt that happy in years,” the words slipped from his lips faster than he could think about what he was saying. “I don’t think I’ve ever danced so much.”

“You’re a great dancer dude! I’m glad you came out!” Bokuto slurred as he spoke, not registering the first thing Kuroo had said.

Akaashi gazed at him over the rim of his glasses, curiously. “Kuroo-san, are you gay?” Akaashi asked frankly.

Kuroo nearly jumped out of the chair. He probably would have if he could feel his legs.

“Oh, aha, yeah I am,” Akaashi smiled at him, “I actually got out of a long-term relationship back at the end of spring.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Akaashi wasn’t fazed by anything he said, as if he already knew all of this. Akaashi had a way of reading people quickly, and Kuroo wore his heart on his sleeve.

“Oh, it’s ok, it was uh- a long time coming I guess you could say,” Kuroo had let the alcohol take down all his walls. Though, the lump in his throat lingered.

“Well whatever happened, you’re here now!” Bokuto sat up urgently from laying on the couch, eyes wide. Akaashi and Kuroo both laughed at his sudden outburst.

“Glad to be here.” Kuroo smiled at them both.

They chatted for a bit longer before heading to bed. Akaashi had prepared the futon in the spare room for him. He laid down in bed and felt the room spin a bit around him. He thought about all the lights and sounds he heard tonight, replaying the moments in his head. _Ahh._ He let the memories carry him to sleep.

\--

Kuroo woke up suddenly, it was still dark; he got up to grab some water.

Bokuto was standing in the kitchen looking out the sliding door.

“Oh hey, did I wake you?” Bokuto turned to ask him.

“No,” Kuroo yawned, “I just needed some water.” He could still feel the alcohol in his system. “What has you up?”

“Oh, just felt sick, needed to stand up for a while,” Bokuto leaned against the counter, clutching a mug of water as well.

Kuroo admired Bokuto. It was amazing how someone could let someone into their life so easily, make friends so easily. Kuroo always thought he struggled with making friends. Maybe he didn’t struggle at making friends, but he struggled at keeping them.

He had been consumed in his relationship that he didn’t give any time to other people, _or himself_. Yaku and Kai somehow had stuck with him through all those years, but he hadn’t made any lasting friendships while he was at University.

“Thanks again you know, for being here and uh, being you,” Kuroo fumbled trying to make an eloquent sentence. “You two are great.”

Bokuto smiled at him and set down his mug. He walked over to Kuroo and pulled him in to a warm hug.

“Ya know, you’re great too.” Bokuto pulled back, clutching the counter quickly. They both chuckled. They were still slightly drunk.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Kuroo.” And they both headed back to their respective beds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto best friend <3<3  
> Writing about going out has me feeling some type of way in Times Such As These UGH


	6. He Used To Be Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song of the Chapter:  
> (S)he Used To Be Mine - Sara Bareilles (from The Waitress)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53GIADHxVzM

**_November_ **

The days came and went and nearly all the leaves had browned and began to fall. Kuroo loved his walk to school, he cut through as many parks as he passed to enjoy the greenspace. The mornings were foggy and mysterious, he loved feeling the main character of a small film, as though maybe one of these days on his walk he’d bump into his soul mate.

He found himself thinking about relationships more often than he would like. It was hard not to when everyone seemed to be with someone. He supposed it was natural during this time of the year.

Bokuto and Akaashi had introduced him to some of their friends, and although the vast majority of them were taken, he was happy to have more friends in his new home. One of their friends, Iwaizumi, was in one of their classes. The physiotherapy master’s students were in the same statistics class as them. He liked Iwaizumi, they seemed to have similar personalities. While Iwaizumi’s boyfriend, was as different from him as he and Iwaizumi were alike.

After their stats class was out the three of them headed over to the library to do some work on an upcoming assessment.

“IWA!” a shout came from across the courtyard startled them. Iwaizumi’s boyfriend Oikawa came running towards them. “You were supposed to let me know when your class ended!!” he squealed, throwing himself at Iwaizumi.

“I told you I was going to the library you idiot, calm down,” Iwaizumi said shrugging Oikawa off of him, trying to hide his pink cheeks. 

“Oh haha, oopsie, must not have checked my messages,” Oikawa cooed into his ear, “Will you two be joining us?” he said gesturing towards the library.

“Uh, more like will you be joining _us_?” Iwaizumi snarled at him.

“Oh yeah I sure will! Thanks for the invite!” and he kissed Iwaizumi’s cheek, grabbing his hand, and pulling him along.

Bokuto and Kuroo glanced at each other and chuckled. Oikawa was studying digital media and had an internship at the Natural History museum helping produce presentations and exhibits for them. He carried a large camera around his neck, strap adorned with cosmic bodies. He was quite an anomaly Kuroo thought, flirtatious and flamboyant but clearly very intelligent when he went off about his subject area. He took great pleasure in trying to analyze how him and Iwaizumi managed with each other.

They headed into the library and found a table for the four of them to work at.

“Hey Kuroo,” a sickeningly sweet tone to his voice, Oikawa asked, “your birthday is coming up soon isn’t it?” He tapped his pencil on Kuroo’s notebook.

Kuroo looked up at him, “How did you know that?”

“Oh, you know…” he scanned his eyes around the room, “I have my ways.” Oikawa rubbed his hands together like he was some evil genius.

“He stalked your socials.” Iwaizumi said flatly.

“IWA!” Oikawa recoiled, “hush! don’t give away my secrets!” he pouted in response. “well anyway, we should plan something for you! Your first birthday party in England!” he had switched from pouting to cheering very quickly.

“YEAH! That’s a great idea. I’ll make a cake!” Bokuto lit up at Oikawa’s suggestion.

Akaashi looked at him then looked at Kuroo, “ _We’ll_ make a cake.”

Kuroo felt so lucky to be surrounded by such caring people. His friends back home were loving of course but never did he think that people he had only known for a few months would throw him a birthday party. He assumed he’d spend the day sitting in his flat eating cake by himself.

**_November 17_ **

The evening of Kuroo’s birthday came out of nowhere. Since the beginning of the month, coursework had consumed all of his time. His birthday was on a Sunday, so they had planned a nice night in at Bokuto & Akaashi’s place. Oikawa and Iwaizumi were going to bring dinner, Bokuto and Akaashi ( _primarily Akaashi_ ) were baking a cake, and all Kuroo needed to do was show up and enjoy.

Kuroo had woken up to a handful of messages from his family and friends back home in Japan.

07:24 Mom: “Happy birthday sweetheart! I hope you have a good day. Dad says he loves you. Gran and I sent you cards in the mail, let me know when you get them! Love you kiddo <3”

08:31 Yaku: “Happy birthday big man, stop texting me when I’m sleeping.”

08:50 Kai: “Miss you dude. Yaku misses you too even if he doesn’t say it. Hope you have a good birthday!”

But he received a message he wasn’t expecting.

10:13 Kenma: “Hey, congrats on the move. Happy birthday Kuroo.”

Kuroo stared at his phone in disbelief. He supposes it’s not _that_ unusual, but it caught him off guard and he had no idea what to say, if anything.

Kuroo decided to go for a run and take a shower and use the time to consider what he should say. They hadn’t seen each other let alone communicated in any way since the night Kenma left. Kuroo really was doing well and he didn’t want to open any old wounds, for either of them.

13:30 “Thank you!”

He decided simple was best. He didn’t have any desire to start a conversation, nor did he have anything he needed to say. He didn’t need anything more from Kenma either. He wasn’t lacking closure. Yes, he missed him. But missing something doesn’t mean you want it back.

Kuroo stood in his bathroom and stared into the mirror, as he had time and time again. _I am here now._ He reflected on the person he once was. Even in this short period of time he had been gone he felt he had already grown so much.

This wasn’t the life he thought he would be living a year ago, or even six months ago. The old him was so sad and he didn’t even know it then. But now, now he was so happy. He was doing everything he had always dreamed of; in the place he had always wanted to go to. The old him was gone.

He sat in that feeling for a while. A dull pain deep in his chest.

_He’s gone. I’m gone._

Kenma didn’t reply. He didn’t need to, neither did Kuroo expect him to. _The possibility always lingered in his head._

After dancing around his flat for a while in just his boxers trying to clear his head, he decided it was probably time to get ready to go.

He opted for black on black on black, his usual favorite. Black turtleneck, black distressed jeans, black boots, and his long wool jacket. He ran his hands through his unruly hair, it was getting long, but he didn’t really care.

Outside it was cold and dreary but luckily the usual rain wasn’t coming down. Arriving at Bokuto & Akaashi’s building he saw balloons tied to their balcony overlooking the street.

“KUROOOOO!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Bokuto shouted down at him, somehow flailing all his limbs at once.

“Get your ass up here!” Oikawa bellowed with a wave.

Between those two, he was amazed one of them hadn’t flung themselves off the balcony. He headed inside and was greeted with party hats and confetti, even Iwaizumi had a hat on.

“You guys are too much,” Kuroo said a bit embarrassed, “thank you so much.”

Bokuto ran across the room tackling him in a hug. “Come on everyone! Hugs for the birthday boy!”

Oikawa dragged Iwaizumi over and Akaashi gracefully joined in. Kuroo was wrapped in the warmth of his new friends – no, just _his friends_. They were as much his friends as anyone else.

“Ok, ok, you all _have_ to stop,” Kuroo tried to shrug them off with a chuckle. He took off his jacket and made himself comfortable with a drink on the couch.

Leading up to dinner the five of them sat around asking Kuroo questions about himself and his “past life” in Japan, as they liked to call it. He told them all about his parents and his friends which naturally led into the talk about Kenma. And oddly, he spoke about it easily. It felt good to be able to be open with all of them.

“Sooooo…” Oikawa spoke with a drawl, “What you’re telling us is that you’re finally ready for your _hoe phase_?” his brows wiggling at Kuroo.

“Aha..” Kuroo rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“I’m sure Kuroo will do what he wants whenever he’s ready.”

Akaashi was a mind reader Kuroo was pretty sure.

“Oh, fine fine fine, but when you think you might be ready,” Oikawa had an oddly serious look on his face now, “let me know.” Iwaizumi gave him an odd look that Kuroo couldn’t discern. But with that the night moved on and it was time to eat.

Between Oikawa and Iwaizumi, one of them, if not both, was an amazing cook. They had prepared a selection of traditional English dishes for Kuroo. He surprisingly loved all of them. Everything was rich and hearty and made him feel at home.

Akaashi brought out an ornately decorated cake with black and gold and silver candies scattered around. How were all these guys so good at cooking? Kuroo couldn’t cook anything without setting his smoke alarm off. They all sang an obnoxious rendition of happy birthday and made Kuroo blow out some candles with a wish.

_I hope I can always recall this happiness._

“Yeeee!” Oikawa squealed whisking the cake away from Kuroo and over to Akaashi for cutting. They all indulged in large slices. This had to be the best birthday he had ever had, Kuroo thought.

Bokuto eyed Akaashi eagerly and Akaashi nodded. Bokuto jumped from his seat running in to the other room. He returned with a small black box in his hand.

“Oh, you really didn’t need to get me anything.”

“No refusing!” Oikawa said as Iwaizumi placed a medium sized box on the table beside the bag.

In the box there was an elegant black picture frame, nothing in the frame but a sticky-note with a smile drawn on it. In the box there was a beautiful blown glass votive with the word _Home_ engraved in Kanji.

Kuroo was overwhelmed by it all, but before he could bother getting emotional Oikawa stood up.

“Alright everyone up!” he clapped. He ushered everyone on to the balcony where his camera was propped up on a tripod. Party hats and all they posed for a group photo; Oikawa and Iwaizumi on his right, Bokuto and Akaashi on his left.

“It’s perfect!” Oikawa proclaimed as everyone came back inside, “I’ll have it printed for you on Thursday.”

“Thank you all so much.”

\--

When Kuroo returned home he leaned the frame up against the wall beneath where he would hang it once Oikawa brought him the print. He placed the votive on the shelf beside it and looked back in awe.

A glimpse of his reflection shown in the glass of the frame – he looked different, but… he was grateful. He felt unworthy of such love. It was overwhelming and surreal to have friends like these who cared for him unconditionally, only knowing him for who he is now.

Kuroo admitted he hadn’t always been a good friend. Spending all his time with Kenma, and blowing off his friends even at times when he was alone. He wanted to be better now. He wanted to be the guy that people loved, and love them in return. After all, they deserved it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I once performed that song at an auction, completely unprepared to start sobbing or to watch my mother sob during it. But it was that much more healing because of that.


	7. A Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo just having the time of his life
> 
> Song of the chapter:  
> A Kiss - The Driver Era  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIl34Bg6yt0

**_December_ **

As the fall semester came to a close, a chill was casted over the city. Most mornings took the form of frost layered roofs and wool scarves trying to fight the cold.

Kuroo enjoyed waking up early and going for runs around the city. He relished in the feeling of crisp air filling his lungs, watching his hot breath pour out into a haze in front of him, like a train chugging through the streets.

After submitting his finals, Kuroo was headed back to Japan for a week to spend Christmas with his family. Bokuto had kindly extended an invitation to stay with him for the holiday, but Kuroo was actually looking forward to going back. He was eager to see his parents and his friends but knew that it wouldn’t be all smiles the whole week.

Going back home after time away was hard for anyone, especially during the holidays. Kuroo was mentally preparing for an onslaught of questions from each of his family members and worked on rehearsing his answers.

_Can you understand their accents?_

_Yes it’s still just English._

_Are you getting good grades?_

_Yes I’ve been doing well in all my classes._

_Have you been dating anyone?_

_I’m not interested in dating right now._

His family had been overly inquisitive about his life lately, he supposes it’s because none of them have ever left Japan with the exception of short vacations. But with all their pestering, everyone was thrilled he would be coming home.

Yaku and Kai had the honor of picking him up from the airport.

“Welcome back ya’ expat.” Yaku jeered in horrible English and a horrendous cockney accent. Kuroo had been greeted by the two of them standing beside Kai’s car.

“Missed you too big man,” Kuroo patted the top of Yaku’s head a bit too hard. He reached up to smack his hand away but Kuroo was too quick. Kai snatched his luggage and shoved it in the car, turning back to give Kuroo a rough hug.

“Glad to see you man, you’re looking good.”

“Thanks, happy to be back.”

\--

The drive back to Kuroo’s family home consisted of stories from abroad, telling them all about his new friends and his classes.

Trying to describe England to people who had never visited the west involved a lot of comparisons to movies and explaining strange customs over and over again. Yaku and Kai vowed to come visit him, maybe in the summer. They were particularly excited about the various food and drinks Kuroo described to them.

Pulling up beside Kuroo’s home Yaku turned to say something,

“So tomorrow we’re all going out ok? It’s Christmas eve’s eve which means pub shenanigans and seeing everyone from high school got it?” Yaku looked incredulously at Kuroo, he knew he couldn’t say no. He didn’t want to say no anyway, he was excited to see people. _He knew he wouldn’t catch Kenma out._

“Of course, I’ll come over before and we can eat.” Kuroo patted him on the shoulder, thanked Kai for driving, and headed into his house.

Kuroo’s mother and grandmother burst into tears as he walked through the door, showering him with hugs and kisses before he could remove his shoes.

“Are you eating enough? Are you sleeping alright? How are your allergies?” Kuroo’s mother held his face in her hands, even with the extreme height difference she would always treat him like he was still a kid.

“Yes, yes, and they’re fine,” he responded playfully, shrugging her off to go greet his father.

Kuroo’s father had lung cancer, likely due to many years of smoking. Somehow, they had managed to catch it before he was too far gone but the chemotherapy made him extremely ill requiring constant care. Kuroo’s grandmother had moved in with them to help with the encumbrance.

“Hey pops, how ya holding up?” Kuroo sat down in the arm of his father’s chair.

“Oh you know, _great_!” he held up a thumbs up grinning sarcastically at his son. His father was an admirable man. He was fully accepting of his situation. He took absolute responsibility for never quitting smoking and realized this was his punishment. Since the diagnosis doctors said they wouldn’t provide surgery unless he stopped smoking completely, and just like that he quit and never looked back. He had always been a stubborn prideful man, but this experience had softened him, given him a dose of reality and Kuroo was oddly grateful for that.

They chatted for a while all about his experiences before everyone joined for dinner.

“So son,” his father stared him down from across the table, “when will you be back again?”

Kuroo had been prepared for this question but wasn’t looking forward to answering it – or more – he wasn’t looking forward to their _responses_.

“Well uh, I don’t have any plans to be back any time soon,” he tried to avoid eye contact with his mother, “It was really expensive to fly back for this and I’m not working right now. I was hoping you all would be visiting me first.” He could feel his mother’s eyes burning into him as he looked down at his food.

His father’s stare softened, smiling back at him, “I hope I’ll be able to come see you soon.” He shot at glance at Kuroo’s mother, she eased up. His whole family had always been together. His mother’s sister and their kids were all still in their hometown. He felt guilty about being the one to leave but deep down they all understood.

It was reassuring to him that he had a place to return to. With the anxiety of the holidays surrounding him, he thought about the fog and the frost, about the smells of the city, about Bokuto’s smile and Akaashi’s omnipotent presence. How blessed he was to have two homes.

\--

**_Christmas Eve’s Eve_ **

Kuroo walked to Yaku’s apartment, it was a long way away, but he wanted to spend some time taking in his surroundings, something that had become a habit. The trees lining the streets of the suburbs were barren and a light snow had dusted the grass. Kuroo had somehow managed to get a beanie over his hair and grabbed some old crochet mittens from his mother’s closet.

It was cold but he loved it. Kuroo thrived in the winter. Truly he thrived in all seasons, but winter had always been his favorite. He enjoyed bundling up, drinking warm drinks, and anything and everything covered in snow.

A recent revelation abroad had taught Kuroo that gin was his preferred poison. He swung into the nearest liquor store before getting to Yaku’s apartment. 

“Good afternoon men!” he proclaimed loudly upon entering. Yaku snatched the bottle from his hand, an amused look on his face, and whisked it away to the kitchen, Kai comfortably posted up on the couch.

“You’re not going to get completely wasted tonight, are you?” Kai’s voice asked flatly.

“He’ll say he won’t, but he totally will.” Yaku eyed him knowingly. Kuroo sauntered into the kitchen ignoring them, grabbed a glass from the cupboard and poured some of his gin.

“A toast,” he raised his glass, Yaku rolled his eyes, “to me. For being back and ready to party.” Kuroo threw back his shot and slammed his glass on the table.

“Gods, ok then,” Kai said getting up from the couch, “let’s fucking go then.” And he poured himself a shot, taking it quickly.

“You two are idiots.” Yaku said, despite also taking a shot.

\--

The bar was brimming with people and everywhere he turned someone else he knew popped up. Old teachers, classmates, parents of old friends. _Ghosts of lives past._ A part of him loved it and another part dreaded everyone questioning him about England.

A few drinks in (honestly already buzzed from pregaming), the three of them were on the dance floor screaming their heads off to old music. Whoever was DJing must have understood the vibe tonight. All the songs were songs that would’ve played at their school dances all those years ago and everyone was living in it.

It was a dingy bar, the kind of place old men play billiards in during the weekdays but tonight it was the hottest place in town, burning with 20-something year olds reliving their teenage years.

“Funny seeing you here,” a voice hissed in his ear, “how’re the limeys treating you?”

Hands wrapped around his waist now Kuroo turned his head back, he had known who it was and accepted the contact. “How’s my favorite snake?”

Suguru chuckled grabbing Kuroo’s hand and spinning him to face each other while they danced. They chatted a bit before heading off to get more drinks. Suguru had been studying for his law school entrance exam and working for his father in the meantime. He told Suguru all about England and how happy he was there, how himself he felt.

“I’m really happy for you,” he smiled earnestly at Kuroo, “I can tell you’re where you’re supposed to be.” To that his raised his glass and clinked it with Kuroo’s.

They voyaged back to the dance floor where Kai was theatrically dancing with some woman Kuroo had never seen before, and Yaku was nowhere to be seen.

“Where’d shrimp wander off to?” Kuroo inquired from Kai who appeared to be in the midst of a tango.

“Oh, you know,” he nodded his head off in the direction of a tall silver haired man leaning with his face towards a wall.

You wouldn’t know anyone else was there spare for Yaku’s sneakers poking out between the towering man’s feet. Suguru and him exchanged glances and laughed, _typical_.

As the night went on everyone got sloppier. At some point Kuroo and Suguru ended up outside the back doors together getting some fresh air.

Before he knew it, Suguru had his pushed up against the wall, their hot breath clouds under a single light. Kuroo’s hands gripped tightly on Suguru’s hips, pressing his fingertips into the small of his back. He was warm under his shirt despite crystals of frost forming on the pavement. Kuroo was smiling behind their lips smashing into one another. He felt free, he felt _fun_. There was no pressure, just old friends sharing a hot drunken make-out.

“You’ve really grown ya know?” Suguru pulled back and grinned, now holding Kuroo’s hands against the wall. Kuroo just rolled his eyes back at him. Suguru leaned in, sliding his tongue behind Kuroo’s teeth, kissing him firmly but finally. “Let’s go back inside.” And in they went to return to their friends.

By the end of the night Kuroo was too far gone to go home by himself. Yaku had made it clear with a devilish glare that him and Kai were not welcome to his place tonight- he was a bit preoccupied. Suguru being the most sober one, somehow walked them both back to their respective homes.

“I had a goodtime tonight,” Kuroo slurred as Suguru dragged him up to his porch.

“Me too,” he paused, a somber look behind his smile, “go have some fun in England too ok?” Suguru gave him a warm hug and made sure he made it to his bed with a glass of water. He left without another word.

He woke up around 06:00 with overwhelming nausea. Willing himself to the bathroom he stepped out of his warm bed and shuffled into the dark hall. Feet cold against the tile floor he found himself breathing deeply and trying to stay relaxed, looking into the mirror.

Laughing at his disheveled appearance he splashed some cold water on his face and cupped some into his mouth. He hadn’t drank like that in months (Ever?). The memory of Suguru tucking him in to bed recalled in his head. What a fun albeit strange night. He wondered how Yaku’s night went, though he knew he’d never hear it from him, always a secretive one.

He wondered what Bokuto was up to. Wondered if Oikawa was busy somewhere, driving Iwaizumi mad as usual. Gratitude washed over him – op, no that was sickness. He clenched his stomach, forcing the urge to heave back down his throat. More water.

\--

Christmas day was textbook for his family. They always spent the morning at home and the afternoon with his cousins. A fried chicken dinner was typical for them and he soaked in every nuance of his relatives. They all hounded him relentlessly for leaving, but in good spirit. Sentiments of pride exuded from their words.

He was grateful to be home and surrounded by family, but a part of him was ecstatic to return to England. He felt ready. Ready to let himself have some more fun, maybe he’d finally take Oikawa up on whatever offer he had in store for him.

\--

**_New Years Eve_ **

Kuroo flew back to England a few days after Christmas, his friends were over the moon to ring in the new year with him.

Arriving back at his place this time it felt much more welcoming than it did the first time. He unpacked his luggage and worked to fight off his jet lag in preparation for New Year’s Eve.

13:50 Bokuto: “KUROO”

13:52 “Yes?”

13:53 Bokuto: “ARE YOU READY”

13:53 Bokuto: “TO PARTY”

13:55 “Indeed my friend. I am ready.”

13:56 Bokuto: “You’re lacking enthusiasm and you’re going to have to crank it up a notch.”

13:59 “ALRIGHT BOKUTO IM READY LET’S GET FUCKED”

14:01 Bokuto: “Thank you kind sir. Much better.”

He laughed and chucked his phone to the side opting for a shower before heading to Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s flat. Oikawa insisted they all meet ahead of going out, particularly Kuroo so he could make sure he was dressed to impress. “ _Even though you’d look good in a garbage bag I refuse to let you go out in one when I am in your party.”_

Loose black slacks and a black button up shirt with sheer shoulders and arms, just a couple things he had picked up in Tokyo. He was sure Oikawa would approve. Slipping on black boots (black on black on black again) and his jacket he headed out to their place.

“Stunning.” Oikawa proclaimed whisking Kuroo inside. “See Iwa, why can’t you be fashionable like him?” he said putting Kuroo on display like a statue.

“Because you always pick my outfits anyway you ass,” Iwaizumi snarled. He was suited up in white and grey, simple but classy. Oikawa in contrast had a pale blue shirt with a black harness strapped around him, his suit jacket draped over his shoulders.

Over on the couch Akaashi was sitting on Bokuto’s knee, both looking picture perfect. “I think everyone looks amazing!!” Bokuto cheered, a glass of something already in his hand. Bokuto had a plaid suit alongside Akaashi in a velvet emerald jacket and a dark turtle neck. He admired his friends, everyone sharp as ever.

“Alright men, group photo.” Oikawa guided them all into the living room in front of a Christmas tree at the end of it’s life.

After a series of obnoxiously posed pictures – Bokuto somehow sitting Akaashi on one of his shoulders, the self-timer catching Iwaizumi mid-kick at Oikawa’s ass, everyone holding their hair to imitate Kuroo’s nest – they decided to head out.

Kuroo was so appreciative of his friends. He didn’t feel like he was 5th wheeling. In fact, he felt more included than he usually did when going out. They walked into a swanky looking club with velvet couches lining the walls and a posh dancefloor smack in the middle of it all. Dimmed lights and Christmas baubles adorned the ceilings and the air smelled of musk and tobacco.

With drinks in hand, they cozied themselves in an open corner of couches. A particularly young group of women were giggling away and pointing in their direction. Iwaizumi pulled Oikawa on to his lap and glared in response. “ _Oi protective huh Iwa?”_ Kuroo couldn’t help but be baffled by the two of them. Somehow, despite their constant bickering, they were an extremely loving couple.

When Oikawa had brought Kuroo the photo they took on his birthday, he had met up with the three of them on campus. Iwaizumi had spotted Oikawa walking down the hill towards them, the fall sun shining on him, and Kuroo had seen it. _That look_ , fall over Iwaizumi’s hard features. He skipped up to them throwing himself at Iwaizumi who lifted him and spun him around playfully. There was no denying the devotion between them.

The dancefloor was calling them all and Bokuto grabbed both Kuroo and Akaashi’s hands leading them out. Music blaring from speakers overhead…

_…Well, just get out the way, Because we don't want to behave…_

He was having the time of his life, indulging in random strangers pulling him to dance, lifting a woman up in the air, singing at the top of his lungs.

_…We're dancing like we lost control, Irrelevant are times before, oh…_

The midnight countdown was coming quickly, Kuroo’s inhibitions were long gone spotting a handsome stranger from across the room. They locked in eye contact and met in the midst of the chaos.

“10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4..., 3... 2...1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!” the whole club shouted in unison. Bokuto and Akaashi pulled each other into a tender kiss, Bokuto smiling and giggling away. Oikawa and Iwaizumi had already been sloppily making out on the couch, and Kuroo was happily locking lips with some man he didn’t know the name of.

The next morning Kuroo woke up in an unfamiliar bed. His head was pounding, the sun was just barely peaking in through sheer curtains. His shirt was somehow still intact, many buttons haphazardly undone, he spotted his pants slung across a chair on the other side of the room.

Sitting up slowly, eyes adjusting to the light, he was happy to see his watch was still on. 08:24. _Gods,_ how late were they up last night for him to still feel slightly drunk? He looked over at the warm body next to him, completely naked with just a bedsheet partially over him. Miraculously, he remembered all the events of last night- though his concept of time had gone out the window after the New Year rang in.

Kuroo carefully crawled out of the bed, snatching up his pants and slipping into the bathroom. He fixed his clothes and drank some water. There was a notepad on a table in the hallway where Kuroo left a simple _Happy New Year_ 😊.

08:40 “This is a walk of shame isn’t it”

He sent a blurry selfie.

08:43 Yaku: “HAH proud of you.”

08:45 Kai: “Our Kuroo’s lost control eh? Stay safe 😉”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just picture Cody Fern at the Golden Globes 2019 for Kuroo on New Years


	8. Second Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinosaurs, collarbones, and wet pavement.
> 
> Song of the chapter:  
> Second Time - Bruno Major  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJxyLgRqCIo

**_March_ **

School started up again and they found themselves cooped up in the library day after day. Winter was slowly fading away and the rain of spring was coming down. Kuroo noticed the green tips of flower bulbs peeking up through the soil on his morning runs. He relished in the changing of the seasons, noticing how the environment of the city ebbed and flowed like the tides.

This weekend Oikawa had invited them all to the museum to come see the exhibition he had helped work on. Kuroo met up with Iwaizumi, Bokuto, & Akaashi to walk there. Oikawa was patiently waiting for them on the steps of the massive building.

“ _Eeeeee_!” he cheered as they approached, nearly tumbling down the stairs in excitement, his massive camera slung across his shoulder. He stopped a few steps above them holding his hand up to tell them to hold still as he snapped a photo of the three of them- Kuroo half smiling, Bokuto a shameless grin across his face, Akaashi trying to wipe something from Bokuto’s cheek, and Iwaizumi pouting but flushed, looking at Oikawa not the camera.

“Was it completely necessary to document that?” Iwaizumi grumbled, pulling Oikawa into a deep hug.

Oikawa’s eyes narrowed, “Yes, _dear_ , you know I like to remember everything.” A sickeningly sweet tone to his voice as he drew a line under Iwaizumi’s chin. He snapped back to everyone else, “Anyway! Come on let’s go inside.”

They were led into a massive hallway teeming with models, skeletons, and droves of people. Oikawa brought them into the Space wing of the museum where he did most of his work. Upon entering the new exhibit all of their eyes were drawn to the ceiling. Thousands if not millions of animated stars were illuminated above them.

“This is all newly renovated,” he explained, hands gesturing around them. “And over here, I made this.” His eyes sparkling, presenting them with his hard work.

A large television board was placed in front of a glass case containing a replica Mars Rover and a video began to play. A presentation of _Life on Mars_ proceeded to show on the screen in front of them. Oikawa was buzzing, whispering the words of the presentation under his breath. He held up his camera sneaking photos of their reactions the whole time. Kuroo had never taken him for such a nerd but he could now see it clearly in his eyes. The four of them clapped at the end of the video as Oikawa bowed to them.

“You actually made this video?” Kuroo asked, impressed.

“Oh Kuroo, yes I directed, produced, and animated the whole thing.” Oikawa exaggerated with a small bow.

Kuroo smiled genuinely at him, “It’s great man, good job.” A flush fell over Oikawa’s face at the compliment. Kuroo knew that despite his arrogance he still got flustered with honest praise.

“Well anyway! You guys go enjoy yourselves, Kuroo let me show you around.” Oikawa recommended. Kuroo caught a scoff from Iwaizumi as he walked away from them.

Bokuto and Akaashi proceeded to mess around with all the interactive screen boards while Oikawa volunteered to show Kuroo around the other exhibits. Iwaizumi – presumably having been there many times – wandered off towards the food court.

They wove through exhibits of wildlife, oceans, evolution, ending the tour with, the dinosaur exhibit. Genuine fossils had been reconstructed showing the immense size that dinosaurs once were.

Kuroo was deep in thought reading a panel about the _Coelophysis_ when he realized Oikawa had wandered off from him. He looked around scanning the crowd and spotted a large black lens pointed at him from across the room, giving it his best smirk, he headed over to where he was. Getting closer to Oikawa he noticed someone beside him and felt his feet stop moving.

Frozen in place amidst the towering skeletons and bustle of people, everything around him slowed, as if the ping between reality and his brain had taken a harsh shot up. In an instant, vulnerability consumed him, as a second of eye contact had exposed something hidden in him. 

Standing tall beside Oikawa was a beguiling blonde man, an employee badge hung low on his chest. Kuroo, captivated, thought for a second that maybe he was part of the art museum that somehow had landed in the building down the road by mistake.

Golden hair curled softly around his face in contrast to his sharp cheekbones and jaw. He had glasses propped low on his nose, an ornate chain hung off the ends of them and around the back of his neck. A dark navy sweater hugging his throat and tight across his torso, light slacks snug against long legs. Kuroo noted an assortment of delicate golden rings on each finger, gesturing into the distance while talking to Oikawa, face still behind his lens.

Rich amber eyes had locked on to Kuroo, for just that brief moment, before turning to Oikawa, “I’ll be on my way now Oikawa, always a pleasure” a sarcastic tone to his voice as he turned and walked away from them before Kuroo had a chance hello.

“Oh dear” Oikawa sang looking down at the screen on his camera, Kuroo’s eyes still following the stranger’s back as he walked farther away from them. His words didn’t register to Kuroo.

“Huh?” coming back to reality, blinking rapidly.

“Oh nothing,” he replied in a sing song voice. “Let’s get back to the others before Iwaizumi leaves me here.” He looped his arm around Kuroo’s and they headed back to the space section.

_\--_

_The Next Morning_

09:30 “I think I saw a God”

09:45 Yaku: “uh, care to rephrase sir?”

09:47 “Ok, maybe not a God, an Angel?”

09:50 Yaku: “You’ve given me nothing here what do you want.”

09:53 “I saw a VERY attractive person whom I know absolutely nothing about and now I cannot stop thinking about them and I am seeking guidance.”

09:55 Yaku: “Gods you’re hopeless.”

\--

It had been a week since they had visited the museum, and now Kuroo was sitting in a coffee shop, across from said museum. One week since tall blonde and gorgeous had been in his line of sight and somehow had never left.

Just his name maybe. Let’s just figure out his name. That was a good starting point Kuroo thought. He wasn’t emotionally ready to push his luck, but he needed a little something to keep him going in the meantime. At least with a name he could stalk socials and construct a proper fantasy.

“Kuroo, love, I feel like you’re ignoring me.”

Suddenly fingers were snapping inches from his face, his eyes letting go of their gaze on the museum doors. “Sorry, sorry, what were you saying?”

“I was _asskkiinnggg_ you what you think I should get Iwa for our anniversary!” Oikawa was pouting now, aggressively pushing his glasses up his nose.

“Take him to a concert.” Kuroo chuckled at that one, just a touch of bitterness in the back of his mouth. Although it really would make a good date, he himself wasn’t interested in a concert date any time soon.

“Hmm,” Oikawa hummed, sipping his coffee from a pretentious metal straw. “I suppose that would be fun, we’ll see.”

“Hey, can you get me free admission to the museum again?” Kuroo looked at him bright eyed. Oikawa clearly read him like a book.

“Oh my,” a suggestive tone to his voice, he slid his glasses down to look at Kuroo clearly, “I suppose I could do a favor for my dear Japanese best friend.”

Kuroo wasn’t sure when they became ‘best friends’ but he was not one to argue with someone he would soon be owing.

“But I do think he’s an ass… Maybe that’s just right for you.” Oikawa winked and went back to editing away on his laptop.

Kuroo didn’t bother to respond to his comment. He couldn’t possibly have him figured out so easily could he? And what could he have meant anyway? He pushed the thoughts aside, preferring to continue his pining through the coffeeshop window.

\--

After class the next week Oikawa had brought Kuroo a handful of admission tickets when they had all met up. He shoved them into his bag, trying to be subtle whilst thanking him.

Bokuto eyed him suspiciously, looking between Oikawa and him, hoping one of them would talk but didn’t inquire. Kuroo moved on and went back to his studying.

“OK! I can’t take it anymore someone tell me what’s going on!” Bokuto practically exploded, papers fluttering everywhere.

Oikawa gave Kuroo a sly glance, “Our little player boy has a crush.” Kuroo felt himself flush. _So embarrassing putting it like that._ He had always hated how easily he blushed and how painfully obvious it always was.

“OOOOO” Bokuto hooted at Kuroo. Akaashi placed his hand on his shoulder, instantly quieting him. Hand coming down from covering his face, Kuroo shrugged at them.

“I just saw someone, who happens to work at the museum, and I want to know their name ok?” he remarked, trying to will the heat from his face.

“Why don’t you just ask Oikawa?” His question is so innocent, Bokuto liked to think things could be simple.

“ _Of course_ I wouldn’t tell him,” a satisfied raise to his brows, “I want him to go find out himself.”

Which truly would be the best thing. That way Kuroo could _see_ him again. And apparently with all these passes in his bag, again and again and again if he wanted. Nothing wrong with wanting to look at someone right?

\--

He decided Saturday morning was as good a time as any. He was impatient. If he put this off any longer he might have an entire life planned out with this stranger.

Donning his favorite flannel tied around his waist and a simple white v neck he headed out. It was a cool sunny day, but he knew he’d be sweating in a jacket by the time he arrived at the museum.

Walking inside the massive doors of the ornate building he was blown away yet again by the large models dotted throughout the hall. Casually he headed towards the dinosaur exhibit. That’s where he was before right? Good place to start he figured.

It was a series of rooms filled with life size models, real fossils, interactive touch screens, and tour groups being guided along. He might as well enjoy himself while he’s here. Kuroo picked up a guidebook that would lead him through the whole display.

Admittedly he got a bit distracted. Even though he had been there last week, he was still infatuated with all this section had to offer and found himself reading each display thoroughly.

 _“What caused the Cretaceous extinction?”_ He read aloud under his breath.

“Lots of researchers think it was an asteroid, but I think it was just ancient climate change. Maybe we’re just having a _modern_ climate change now?” A voice said behind him.

An involuntary “ _Fuck”_ breathed out of Kuroo as he turned around.

“Oh sorry,” a smug tone to his voice, “didn’t mean to scare you there,” devilish grin across his face. _He absolutely intended to startle him._

The handsome stranger was standing right beside him and Kuroo had lost all ability to speak. Or think. Or act. He could feel the heat rising up his neck.

“Haha, oh, no, uh, I mean,” he was blowing this, “Sorry uh, hi!” He held out his hand stupidly, “Tetsurou Kuroo.”

Sublime gold adorned fingers met his, a firm handshake despite how slender his hands were.

“Kei Tsukishima. _Hajimemashite_.” He folded his arms and looked back at the display. “You’re Oikawa’s buddy from Japan huh?”

His Japanese was flawless, but Kuroo didn’t have time to think about that, “Oh yeah, his boyfriend is in one of my classes at the University.” He was impressed to be pushing out full sentences.

“Do you like dinosaurs Tetsurou?” Kuroo shivered at the use of his first name. He knew it was more typical here, but all his friends had always just gone with his last for whatever reason.

“Oh, yeah, I do,” _something clever, say something clever,_ “people say that the decomposition of dinosaurs is what created oil, but fossil fuels aren’t actually created from dinosaurs. Bit silly to call them fossil fuels with that in mind...” _OH God_

He laughed. Tsukishima laughed and Kuroo’s mouth was slightly agape.

Blinking, he tried to cover up his embarrassment quickly. “So, do you work here or are you doing an internship like Oikawa?”

Kuroo couldn’t read his expression. He felt like he was being analyzed. Under the microscope that are Tsukishima’s golden glasses, that same chain hanging behind his neck. “Actually, I did an internship during my undergrad but have been working full time under the head exhibit coordinator since I graduated in the spring.” He uncrossed his arms and began to walk. Kuroo followed.

Moving along, Tsukishima pointed out the projects he had worked on. He had aided in the reconstruction of their most recent skeleton and could name all the bones.

Kuroo felt as though he was receiving a private, one-on-one tour and could not be more ecstatic.

By the time they had circled back to the panel at which they had met, Tsukishima was looking at his watch.

“Ah well I must be getting back to some work,” just a hint of remorse in his voice, “It was nice to meet you, Tetsuro.” And off he went, disappearing through a door, leaving Kuroo staring like an idiot.

\--

14:03 “I met him.”

14:10 Yaku: “Really proud of your ability to communicate with another human being.”

14:11 Yaku: “Surprised you didn’t scare him off.”

14:15 “Actually he kind of scared me”

14:17 Yaku: “You’re pathetic.”

\--

“Soooooo Mr. Loverman, tell me about your trip~” Oikawa sang to Kuroo from his kitchen.

It was Saturday night and they had all met up for dinner before going out. Kuroo was laid out on the couch, Bokuto beside him, somehow upside down with his legs up over the backrest.

“Ya know, you really should’ve just asked for his number Kuroo” Bokuto looked up at him. Kuroo wondered to himself if Bokuto dried his hair upside down like that.

“Ahhh I know, but I was barely keeping up! I was lucky to have gotten his name and not have a heart attack,” Kuroo sat up abruptly, “maybe if I search through the employee directory-“

“A bit stalkerish huh?” Iwaizumi chimed in from where he sat on the kitchen counter.

“You wouldn’t find anything anyway,” Akaashi said softly, “I already checked.” A sly grin on his face, he winked at Kuroo.

Waving a spatula around lazily Oikawa replied, “Only the directors of each exhibit have any information online, and it’s just office numbers anyway. Now come on gentlemen time for food!”

Kuroo sighed and forced himself up, food and a good night out would help distract him.

\--

Turns out a good night out did in fact, not help. In his semi-drunken state wandering home from the bar, having parted from his friends, Kuroo found himself standing on the steps outside the museum.

It was the middle of the night what was he thinking? Better yet, it had started to rain, and he was seeking shelter under the overhang of the doors.

He had been so content being alone, yet how _easily_ he allowed someone to occupy that space in his head. It was fun where he was at now, the occasional one-night stand, dance floor makeouts, all things he had never done before and was enjoying. He really loved himself now, he was giving himself _energy_.

The rain had lightened some _, might as well head back_ he thought looking at the time on his watch _02:34_.

He lost his treading going back down the steps, the rain making them slicker than when he walked up them.

_SMACK_

Well shit.

\--

Ugh, everything hurts. Kuroo tried to reach up to his head but felt a sharp shooting pain upon moving his arm. _Ah my clavicle._ Luckily his arm caught the brunt of his fall and he just had a scrape on the side of his face.

 _That’s what you get for being impatient_. He managed to make his way home and got some ice on his shoulder. Kuroo thought it was probably fractured, but no use going to an emergency room, nothing they can do about it but put him in a sling which he could easily make for himself.

He tied himself up, took some pain medicine, and passed out.

\--

**_Monday_ **

07:50 “Might be a bit late to class, need to stop at the store.”

08:01 Bokuto: “NO PROBLEM! I’ll let teach know. :D”

Kuroo stopped at the drug store on the way to class to get some better pain medicine and a proper sling for his arm. Managing to only be 5 minutes late he took his seat beside Bokuto.

“ _Dude,_ what the hell happened to you?” he whispered.

“Tripped on some stairs going home on Saturday.”

“ _hmph_ , you should’ve called us,” Bokuto whined, “we would’ve come to help you.”

“I’m fine don’t worry about it.” Kuroo flashed him a toothy grin and they turned their attention back to class.

The day seemed to drag on and on and Kuroo had only one thing on his mind. The pain was a bit distracting… ok maybe two things. After class ended instead of heading to the library with Bokuto he headed off to the museum unable to wait any longer to make his move.

Wandering around the museum Kuroo didn’t see Tsukishima anywhere. There was a petite blonde girl sitting behind the information desk he figured he might as well as her if he was there.

“O-oh, h-h-hello there!” the poor girl was trembling, “Is there s-something I can help you with s-sir?”

“I was just wondering if Mr. Tsukishima was here today,” Kuroo rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. The girl’s expression softened.

“Oh! Yes, um, let me call back to his office. I saw him earlier, just a moment.” She picked up a headset and started dialing.

“Hello, Tsukki? H-haha, um it’s Hitoka. Yeah, u-uh, there’s someone here for you. Oh um...” she covered the microphone with her palm, “Your name sir?” looking at Kuroo.

“I-its Kuroo, um, Tetsuro Kuroo.” God why were they all stuttering messes?

“It’s Mr. Kuroo. Are you available?” she paused nodding her head as if Tsukishima could see her. “Yeah, no problem! OK, ok, thanks.”

She took off her headset and stood up, her eyes sparkling, “Come with me!”

Kuroo was led through a back hallway by the small woman who he came to know as Hitoka Yachi. They walked past a series of doors and down a stairwell before arriving outside a door labeled “ _Kei Tsukishima”_.

Yachi gestured at the door and smiled then swiftly disappeared back from where they came.

Kuroo knocked tentatively, how and why was he here? What was he even going to say?

“You may enter,” a voice spoke just after he had knocked.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Tsukishima said seductively as Kuroo shut the door behind him. “Shit, what the hell happened to you?” He sputtered, startled upon seeing Kuroo’s sling and scab along the side of his head.

“Oh uh, I kind of fell down some stairs…” Tsukishima looked appraisingly at him, hands crossed under his chin, elbows propped on a desk littered with papers. “The stairs outside of here actually.” He mumbled under his breath. He chuckled trying to make light of his drunken mishap.

Tsukishima had a puzzled expression but didn’t question him further. “Well then, what can I do for you Tetsurou?” his name poured out of his mouth like honey, smooth and sweet, but natural, like he had said it a million times. Kuroo’s face heated up. He tried his best to avoid direct eye contact.

“I- uh,” _now or never loverman_ , “I’ve come to ask you on a date!” he practically shouted and instinctively bowed.

It was that sound again, he was laughing. _Fuck_ this was embarrassing, but his laugh was perfect whether he was mocking him or not.

Kuroo had absolutely no idea how to do this. It was easy enough to flirt in a club with random people, but all his abilities went out the window with someone he was genuinely interested in, not to mention completely captivated by.

“Follow me.” Tsukishima commanded, getting up from his desk.

Kuroo followed him blindly, being led down another staircase farther underground. Was he even allowed to be down here? He really didn’t care.

They entered a room that looked like a lab, Kuroo’s eyes wide upon seeing the familiar scene of hoods and beakers.

“This is where we bring in new fossils to be examined.” He was full of pride showing off his work. “I studied paleontology, graduated a year early, and have been working here since.” Arms crossed, he eyed Kuroo. “So, what do you do Tetsurou?”

“I uh, well I have a degree in chemistry,” he looked around the lab nervously, “but I’m studying public health at the University now.” Tsukishima smiled.

“How very noble of you.” He scoffed, but the words were genuine.

They walked through more rooms, Tsukishima explaining what was done in each one. Kuroo told him about why he was studying public health and he told Kuroo about working with Oikawa.

“He’s one of the most insufferable people I have ever met.” Tsukishima said in an annoyed tone, “But, his skills are unmatched, so I guess he’s ok.”

Kuroo chuckled, Oikawa _was_ a lot to say the least.

“So, uh, can I um,” Kuroo was fumbling again.

“Yeah,” Tsukishima smirked, handing Kuroo his phone from his jacket pocket. 

Kuroo let his dorkiest crooked grin slip out as he took Tsukishima’s phone and punched in his contact, handing his phone to Tsukishima in return.

“I’ll um, text you soon!” he said as he walked back into the main hall of the museum, Tsukishima standing in the doorway, one brow raised.

“Alright~” he smirked, waving his hand, turning, and closing the door behind him.

17:25 “I DID IT.”

17:32 Yaku: “I swear to god I’m going to mute you.”

17:33 “Ohoh sorry 😊”

17:35 “Sweet dreams Yakkun <3”

17:36 Yaku: “You’re muted.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo: I just wanna know his name  
> Me: have a broken bone sir 
> 
> Talk to me on twitter! I am very lonely aha hah *cries*  
> twitter.com/arribelhq


	9. Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And with that look, Kuroo would’ve trusted him with anything. 
> 
> Song of the chapter:  
> Fever by Dua Lipa & Angèle  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMBNpVQ0k_k

**_Thursday_ **

Face down in a textbook Bokuto groaned. “WHY do we have to read SO much _allllll_ the time?”

“Bo’ you signed up for this,” Akaashi chided, Kuroo shot him an agreeing nod.

“He’s right man, we just gotta get through these chapters.” Kuroo leaned back in his chair, stretching his good arm behind his head. The three of them were at Kuroo’s flat catching up on schoolwork while Akaashi worked on an article.

“OK I’m just gonna say it,” Bokuto stood up slamming his hands on the table. Akaashi and Kuroo eyed each other, waiting for what Bokuto would say next. “I need a break.” And he walked off towards the kitchen to rummage through Kuroo’s fridge.

“His attention span is that of a fly.”

“You’re telling me…” Akaashi rolled his eyes and went back to his computer.

From the kitchen he could hear Bokuto cracking his ice tray into a glass.

“So Kuroo, have you texted dinosaur man?” Bokuto asked, sipping from his overflowing glass of water as he walked back to the table.

Kuroo hadn’t messaged Tsukishima... yet. He had no good reason for not saying anything other than he had no idea what to say. He had typed up at leasst 20 different messages and always ended up deleting them.

_Hey, its Kuroo_ Too simple

_Guess who?_ He had his number in his phone too duh

_If you’d go to dinner with me I promise not to take you for granite._ God no science puns.

“Well, uh-“ Bokuto gave him an angry pout, “What.”

“You’ve just got to go for it Kuroo!! I can’t stand it!” Bokuto mimicked ripping his hair out.

“We can tell you like him Kuroo-san, just ask him to come out with us tomorrow, casual.” Akaashi’s eyes twinkled as he spoke. Kuroo sighed, that wasn’t a bad idea. What’s the worst that could happen?

18:50 “Hey, it’s Kuroo”

“No no Kuroo, add a smile come on be friendly!!” Bokuto said looming over his shoulder.

“Ok fine.”

18:51 “Hey, it’s Kuroo 😊”

“Better!”

18:55 Tsukishima Kei: “Good evening Tetsurou~ How are you?”

18:57 “I’m doing well! Just working on some readings tonight. I wanted to ask if you wanted to come out tomorrow night with me and some of my friends?”

19:00 Tsukishima Kei: “Sounds great, I’d love to. Come get me from the museum then ~”

19:02 “Ok! I’ll see you then. 😊”

19:02 Tsukishima Kei: “See you then Tetsurou 😊”

\--

**_Friday_ **

Kuroo was bursting with anticipation. And, he was grateful that they had a mutual acquaintance in Oikawa. All the men came over to Kuroo’s flat before they went out that night, helping to ease his nerves and making sure he looked his best.

“Tsukishima might be a salty bastard, but he has taste, so you’ve got to look your best!” Oikawa cheered as he sifted through Kuroo’s wardrobe.

It was spring but the weather was dreary as ever. Rain coming down every day. Tonight was no exception, no point in trying to forego a jacket.

Oikawa settled on tan plaid pants, a black button up t-shirt and Kuroo’s long black trench coat. Not that he would have questioned his choices anyway, but all together it did look good. Kuroo couldn’t go wrong in black.

“Akaashi are you sure there isn’t anything you can do about this hair?” Oikawa pleaded waving his hands wildly around Kuroo’s head.

“I think his hair looks fine!” Bokuto smiled, popping his head into the bathroom doorway.

“Of course _you_ think it’s fine...” Oikawa rubbed his eyes and shook his head.

In Oikawa’s defense, Kuroo’s always wild hair was even more so than usual. He hadn’t had it cut since before he had moved and his thick waves were starting to fall around his face.

“This will have to do. I think it looks good.” Akaashi stood behind Kuroo in the mirror looking accomplished.

He had somehow managed to get part of his hair pulled back with a tie at the base of his neck, a few strands loose around his face. Kuroo was pleasantly surprised, maybe he’d let his hair be a bit long for once. Akaashi would have to give him a tutorial.

It had been less than a week since he tumbled down the museum stairway cracking his collarbone, and now there he was back on those same marble steps. His jacket hung over his shoulders, one arm tucked away into a sling and the other attempting (poorly) to hold an umbrella.

Oikawa volunteered to text Tsukishima to let him know they were there, Kuroo’s hands being occupied.

Tsukishima came out a small side door, locking it behind him. It was dark but he looked luminous under the lights of the building. He had on a dark sweater with the collar of a button up poking out the top, a houndstooth jacket draped over him. His usual gold rings replaced with silver; a matching chain hung from his belt to his slack pockets.

He strutted down the steps to where Kuroo stood, nodding hello to Oikawa as he joined them.

“You’re a pretty sight Tetsurou,” Tsukishima took the umbrella from him, linking their arms together.

“Oh hah, thanks.” Kuroo’s brain short circuited. Tsukishima’s voice was smokey and alluring, his given name swimming into his ears. “Oh uh, you already know Oikawa, and here’s Iwaizumi.” Tsukishima smirked at them; Iwaizumi rolled his eyes at Oikawa’s sour face. “And this is Bokuto and Akaashi.”

“Nice to meet you all.”

“Glad to not have poor Kuroo fifth wheeling with us again!” Bokuto laughed, Akaashi gently signaling to him to shush.

“Don’t mind him,” Akaashi smiled to Tsukishima.

He grinned, “Happy to be of service,” and winked at Kuroo. He felt all the blood in his body rise to his face.

The six of them made their way to the club, it was different than the others they had gone to previously. Inside it smelled of rain and gardenias. An entire wall had water running down it, an aquarium full of fish tucked behind the waterfall. Plants hung from every square meter of the ceiling, fiberoptic lights twinkling throughout them. It was like walking into a neon rainforest, chaotic music flooding the space.

They all left their coats and umbrellas in a small room near the front and proceeded to a table in the back of the room. There was a large dancefloor with a DJ in the middle on a circular raised stage.

Bokuto and Akaashi left to gather drinks.

“This is quite the place huh?” Kuroo asked Tsukishima. He was fiddling with his hands awkwardly.

“I think we had a work party here once actually,” he replied, looking around the room. Tsukishima seemed relaxed, just his normal self as far as Kuroo knew. He on the other hand, could feel tingling in his fingers and the urge to adjust in his seat every few seconds. Kuroo was terrible at small talk.

Kuroo turned to look into the aquarium behind them, “Did you know that the ocean is absorbing more than a quarter of carbon emissions?” Kuroo turned back to Tsukishima, trying his best to hide a somewhat horrified expression, realizing that was he said was incredibly unflirty.

“People talk about ‘ _ocean acidification_ ’ but it’s a bit misleading, the ocean is more just decreasing in alkalinity. I suppose that’s _technically_ acidification but to laymen that terminology is confusing.”

Kuroo’s eyes might have fallen out of his sockets if they weren’t connected by his optic nerve. He was just as might of a complete nerd as he was. Tsukishima busted out laughing, noticing his bemused appearance, and Kuroo’s breath returned to his chest.

“How do you know all of that?” he inquired.

“I know my way around the Ocean side of the museum well,” he retorted with a cheeky smirk, leaning back a putting his arm around the back of the couch.

Akaashi and Bokuto returned, a tray full of drinks. Kuroo had his usual G&T, Tsukishima whiskey – neat.

“Cheers!” Oikawa squealed, squeezing Iwaizumi’s thigh. They all clinked their glasses together in anticipation of a smashing night.

The other four headed off to the dancefloor after some chatting and finishing their drinks. Kuroo and Tsukishima stayed behind, Kuroo figured he really shouldn’t be dancing with his arm in such a state.

“I heard the girl at the desk call you Tsukki?” Kuroo leaned back into the couch, crossing his legs. That one drink had begun to loosen him up a bit.

Tsukishima surveyed him. His bright amber eyes striking down any barriers Kuroo could have constructed. 

“Ah, Hitoka, she’s an old friend.” He swirled the ice in his glass with a single nail, varnished with black. “She also dates my best friend. I don’t mind the nickname, call me whatever you’d like.” He made eye contact with that last statement. Those same eyes he had seen that first day at the museum, intriguing, but intense in their gaze.

A waitress brought them another round of drinks. Kuroo could see Bokuto bouncing around the floor, Akaashi gracefully trying to keep him from stepping on people’s feet. Oikawa and Iwaizumi looked like teenagers at prom, grinding away on each other.

Kuroo chuckled, he always enjoyed watching people dance, though not as much as dancing himself. He wasn’t a particularly good dancer, but he knew music and he could move to it.

Tsukishima set his glass down and stood up offering Kuroo a hand. “Come on.”

“But, my arm...” he said reluctantly.

“Trust me.”

And with that look, Kuroo would’ve trusted him with anything.

He guided them out on to the floor, a somewhat slower song coming on. Tsukishima spun him so his back was to his chest. Putting a hand on Kuroo’s hip and one gently over his arm, holding it in place.

“See, you can still dance,” he purred into Kuroo’s ear. His lips just barely out of reach from contact. Tsukishima laughed just a bit, the breath on his neck sending shivers down Kuroo’s spine. He was grateful for the dark, he knew his face was dark red.

They swayed gently with the music, Kuroo allowing his head to roll back on to Tsukishima’s shoulder.

_…And we can run away, swimming in the sunlight every day…_

Somehow, this experience was the most intimate thing Kuroo could recall. The way they were dancing wasn’t inherently sexual but the tension between them was _devastating_.

Tsukishima’s hand ran down Kuroo’s thigh, Kuroo reaching behind him, hand in those golden curls. He thought maybe a bit of the sun stayed in there, keeping those soft tresses gilded with warmth.

Moving as one, Tsukishima’s hand slid up to Kuroo’s chest and followed up the line of his arm. He grabbed Kuroo’s hand from behind his head and gently drug it along his jawline. All the while his other hand, secure, holding Kuroo’s sling to his chest.

When the song ended and another came on, they just stood there in place for a moment. Kuroo felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand, Tsukishima blowing air gently against him.

“Let’s go grab another drink” Tsukishima suggested, turning Kuroo, grabbing his hand, and whisking them off the floor and over to the bar.

They gathered their drinks and returned to their table. Akaashi and Bokuto were sitting catching their breath and drinking water.

Turning towards the two of them Akaashi asked: “You two having fun?”

Kuroo grinned stupidly, Tsukishima had put his hand on Kuroo’s thigh when they sat down. “Yes, Tetsurou is quite the dancer.”

“Oh I wouldn’t s-“ Kuroo began.

He was cut off, “Oh just wait until he’s all healed up!” Bokuto said with an exuberant nod to Kuroo.

“You don’t say,” Tsukishima looked at Kuroo knowingly before taking a swig of his drink. Setting his glass back down, now looking Kuroo straight in the eye, “Can’t wait.”

As the night went on, they danced a couple more times but the pain in his shoulder was starting to bother him. It was getting late anyway so they all decided to head out together.

“Let me walk you home,” Tsukishima said, popping the umbrella open as the rain picked up.

The other two couples had split off to head in their respective directions, leaving the two of them standing awkwardly on the street corner.

“Oh no I’m fine to go by myself really,” Kuroo really didn’t want him walking out of his way in this rain.

“I don’t want you to fall down some stairs again ok?” his tone was sarcastic, but his smirk was kind.

He held out his hand for Kuroo to hold, the other holding their umbrella. They walked in silence for a while, just the sound of the rain on the pavement keeping them company.

“I really love the rain,” Kuroo said, leaning his head away from the umbrella for a moment to let it hit his face. “I don’t really know why; I just always have.”

Tsukishima stopped walking; he folded the umbrella back up, letting it hang at his side. 

“What’re you-“ Kuroo stopped himself.

Tsukishima pulled his glasses down, allowing them to dangle around his neck. Head tilted back and eyes shut, he let the rain fall down on him.

“I like the rain the best at night.” He opened his eyes and turned to look at Kuroo. Rain clung to his blonde lashes, eyes gleaming and youthful. “The light refracts in the drops, like the stars are falling around you.”

There they stood in the rain. Just letting it come down on to both their faces. For a minute they savored it, savoring in the drops of cold on alcohol heated skin.

“Alright, can’t get too wet or we’re both going to catch colds,” Tsukishima said opening the umbrella again.

Tsukishima had reached for his hand again but Kuroo’s free hand reached up to Tsukishima’s face. He cupped it in his palm for just a moment, attempting to memorize everything he could see. Then, reaching behind Tsukishima’s neck he pulled him in, bringing their dewy lips together.

The umbrella fell to the ground, Tsukishima had one hand around his waist and the other carefully on the side of his arm.

His lips were supple and full, parting ever so gently, an invitation. Kuroo obliged, sliding his tongue past his teeth. It was intense but delicate. They pulled back, foreheads leaning against each other. Drops of rain sliding down their faces.

“I uh, should really get home,” Kuroo said.

“Ok, if you _insist_.”

Tsukishima walked him up to his door. Kuroo awkwardly offered to let him come in to dry off.

“No don’t worry about it, mines not too far away.”

“Well take the umbrella ok? Let me know when you’ve made it back.” Kuroo was trying his best to not blow this but his pain was getting to him and the alcohol was wearing off. He knew it would have been a bad idea to invite Tsukishima to stay with him being injured.

Tsukishima smiled at him- rain drops still clinging to the tips of his hair- and ran the back of his hand down Kuroo’s cheek. “I had a good time tonight.”

He pulled him in for a delicate kiss, then another just on the side of his jaw. “Have a good night Tetsurou.”

With a gentle smile he replied, “Goodnight Tsukki.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come dance at the club with me to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLBmqwA4AGc
> 
> *sobs*


	10. Bad Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truly, he had no idea how big the room even was, it was impossible to tell, but the air surrounding them was stifling.  
> \--  
> A chapter in which Kuroo finds himself fucked.
> 
> Song of the chapter:  
> Bad Idea - Girl in Red  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xo8QvY0jOOE

The remaining week of March was spent vigorously analyzing a series of articles for a literature review. Neither Kuroo nor Bokuto had ever read so much in their lives. Each day was spent and school and the evenings in the library. Multiple nights Kuroo stayed in their guestroom, Bokuto and him up late reviewing each other’s work. 

He hadn’t seen Tsukishima again since their night out, but they did text every so often. Kuroo told him about the paper he was working on and Tsukishima indulged him, asking detailed questions, and always wanting to know how he was getting on.

18:36 Tsukki: “So the public access to cycle lanes wasn’t the issue?”

18:40 “Well the routes were well maintained but they still weren’t being used.”

18:41 “The public’s main concern was safety because the route intersected a major roadway.”

18:43 Tsukki: “Ah yes, getting slaughtered by a car on your way to work isn’t ideal.”

It was nice talking to someone who was interested in his work. Or, if not interested, he at least tried to be. He had gotten so used to being alone, not having someone to text throughout the day, and he quickly found himself checking his phone too often.

He recognized this quickly, opting to put his phone on do not disturb while he was working. When this project was finished, he’d allow himself to indulge more.

His collarbone felt mostly healed, he had started to forego the sling, and it was only a bit sore at the end of the day. He was feeling good; doing well in his courses and had someone that he desperately looked forward to seeing again.

He and Bokuto turned in their papers the first week of April and decided to celebrate their accomplishments with a guy’s night in.

\--

**_April_ **

“Oh, come on just invite him, you know you want to,” Bokuto whined draping himself over Kuroo’s shoulders.

Kuroo shoved him off, Akaashi just rolling his eyes from across the room. “I _do_ want to, moron, but…” He waved his hand around as if his thoughts would materialize and he could catch them. “Is that like, too boyfriend-like?”

“He already came out with the rest of us, how is this any different?” Akaashi asked, his telltale look over the rim of his glasses.

“Yeah! Yeah! ‘kaashi’s right!” Bokuto said somehow with his mouth now full of chips.

Kuroo thought about it, he was sure Tsukishima would say yes, but a part of him was still hesitant. He was intimidated at the thought of hanging out in such a casual setting. Tsukishima was somehow studious, confident, and _cool_ all at once. What would he think about him and his obnoxious friends?

But Kuroo knew himself, and he loved himself, and he loved his friends. To hell with what anyone else thought. If Tsukishima doesn’t like him at his _sweatpants-drinking games-climbing on Bokuto’s shoulders_ , then he doesn’t deserve him at his _sharp dressed-studying in a coffeeshop-sipping expensive cocktails_.

Kuroo was a lot of things, and he had spent all of his time in England getting comfortable with _all_ the things.

“Alright fine.”

Bokuto clapped and bounced over to him, offering both his hands for high fives.

20:21 “The review is finally submitted, hallelujah.”

“Just ask him!! You don’t need to wait for a reply!!”

“Ok ok fine calm down.”

20:30 “We’re having a get together Saturday night, if you’d like to join us.”

“No Kuroo-san, tell him you _want_ him to come.” Akaashi harped, both of them looming behind him now.

_Delete delete delete_

20:31 “We’re having a get together Saturday night, I’d love it if you came.”

“Perfect!” Bokuto clapped a hand on Kuroo’s back, nearly throwing him out his chair. _Gods,_ he was stronger than he realized. He wondered how he hadn’t accidentally killed Akaashi yet.

He sat there staring at his phone, impatiently waiting for a response. He was sure that Tsukishima was just preoccupied with something and hadn’t checked his phone. A part of Kuroo enjoyed imagining the various things that could be keeping him. The other part was always a bit anxious.

After a while, Kuroo spotted the typing bubble pop up in their chat.

20:54 Tsukki: “Good job finishing your paper Tetsurou 😊”

_Still typing_

20:55 Tsukki: “I’d be happy to join you all, let me know what I can bring.”

Kuroo felt like a pubescent teenager asking their crush on a date for the first time. An experience he never really had. There were days when he was in his flat alone, longing for the nostalgia of teenage relationships. He had never had that same excitement that was portrayed in the media.

He and Kenma were just always together, they didn’t really go on dates, no grand gestures of confession, they were just together and that’s how it had always been.

Now, he was elated, he was giddy.

21:00 “Great! Can’t wait 😉 just bring your drink of choice.”

\--

**_Saturday_ **

Oikawa was pacing around the kitchen, assuring everything was spotless before more people arrived. Kuroo had gotten there early ( _always early_ ) and offered to help cook or clean.

“Sorry Kuroo but no touching the stove. Just pour yourself a drink and relax.” Oikawa sang whilst filling an ice tray.

“Maybe _you_ should relax a bit babe,”” Iwaizumi cooed in Oikawa’s ear, embracing him from behind.

“Iwaaa you’re distracting me!” Helplessly trying to wiggle free from his grasp.

“Get a room you two!” Kuroo joked from his spot on the couch.

“You’re the one in OUR house,” Iwaizumi said flatly, smacking Oikawa’s ass and coming back into the living room with a beer. He tossed one to Kuroo. “Anyway, you excited to see your dino-man again?”

Oikawa was now leaning over the counter, chin in his hands. “If that stupid look on his face is anything to go by, I’d say _yes_ ~” Kuroo chucked an empty can at him, which he somehow managed to duck away from.

“My point exactly!” He popped up from his hiding place behind the counter. Iwaizumi gave Kuroo a smug look.

“Try not to pick a fight with him Oikawa.” Kuroo asked sincerely.

“ _Oh_! I would never!” Oikawa’s hand on his chest as if he had been accused of murder.

The doorbell rang.

“Got it,” Iwaizumi went over to let in Bokuto and Akaashi. Bokuto had a stack of board games in his arms, grinning wildly.

They clamored in, Akaashi joining Oikawa in the kitchen, Bokuto plopping down on the couch beside Kuroo.

“You look cozy,” Kuroo smirked at him. Bokuto had an oversized hoodie on that appeared to be lined with fleece. Its large pocket nearly covered his shorts.

“’Kaashi got me this for Christmas, look!” He pulled his knees up to his chest, tucking them under the sweatshirt and put his hood on. The hood had little points coming out of the top, although Kuroo wasn’t sure exactly what creature it was supposed to be, it was cute nonetheless.

“Hah, love it.”

“Where’s Tsukki?” Bokuto asked grabbing a beer.

“I think he’s on his way, he said he needed to go home after leaving work.” Kuroo assumed he needed to change before coming over, he told him to wear comfy clothes. “Oh, and maybe just call him Tsukishima, k?”

Bokuto’s face drooped. “Maybe.” He huffed.

Tsukishima showed up about 15 minutes later. “Sorry I’m late, got tied up with something.” Kuroo shot up to greet him at the door. He looked _so_ _cute_. Different than all the times Kuroo had seen him before. He had a grey sweatshirt on that was cut off at the chest and a T shirt underneath, ¾ length joggers lined his long legs. Kuroo spotted colorful socks pulled up over his ankles- green dinosaurs.

“Nice kicks,” Kuroo laughed, hanging up his coat for him. Tsukishima smiled like he had just been challenged, setting his bag down on a side table.

He gripped Kuroo’s face in one hand, squeezing it slightly then pulling him into a kiss. His eyes opened wide in shock, Tsukishima’s eyes looking right back at him. He pulled away, running his tongue across his upper lip seductively.

“Glad you like them.” He said, sliding off his sneakers and wiggling his toes.

“You’re red as a tomato dude!” Bokuto shouted, bounding over to them laughing away, “Nice to see you Tsukki!”

Kuroo buried his face in his hands, “OK ok ANYWAY” leading them back to the living room.

“Iwaizumi, you two have a nice place.” Tsukishima said courteously, pouring himself a glass of whiskey.

“OH IT IS NICE ISNT IT” came a voice shouting arrogantly from the kitchen.

“Ignore him,” Iwaizumi snarled, “Thanks.”

Kuroo looked at Tsukishima, wondering why Oikawa seemed to have such an issue with him. Just as he thought about it, Tsukishima seemed to read his mind. “It’s not a big deal, we were just in the same intern cohort and for some reason he’s cranky about it.”

Tsukishima spoke quietly, but Iwaizumi could hear them, he was unbothered. “He’s just a competitive bastard.” Iwaizumi stated, knocking back the remainder of his beer.

They ate an incredible dinner prepared together by Akaashi and Oikawa. Food was followed by drinking games, naturally.

Not surprisingly Iwaizumi was excellent at beer pong beating Oikawa easily. Bokuto kicked Kuroo’s ass- Kuroo blames having his right arm out of commission for a couple weeks. Akaashi and Tsukishima faced off in a stunning display of perfect shots back to back, Akaashi managed to sneak in a win at the end. 

After a series of games, they all ended up sitting around chatting. Tsukishima checked his phone and let out a quiet groan. Kuroo looked at him, curious. “What’s up?”

“An email from work,” he shook his head dismissively.

“This late on a Saturday?”

“Happens more often than you’d think,” Tsukishima shrugged his shoulders and adjusted his glasses. “I wasn’t planning on going in tomorrow, but I left my laptop in my office and I have some work to do before Monday.”

Before his thoughts became words Kuroo’s face flushed. “Well why don’t we go get it?” He tried his best to sound innocent in his suggestion but the thought of getting to walk around the museum after hours with Tsukishima made his stomach tighten.

He slowly rolled his eyes over to Kuroo’s gaze, “Good idea Tetsurou.” The words rolled off his tongue in such an alluring way. Kuroo wondered if he spoke like that to everyone; if everyone got hit like a freight train when he said their name.

“Let’s go then,” Tsukishima said, giving Kuroo’s leg a playful squeeze. Looking back to everyone, “I left something at the museum I have to go get. Thanks for having me.”

Kuroo spotted Oikawa and Bokuto grin stupidly at each other and glared at them.

“Have a goodnight Kuroo~!” Oikawa sang, waving to them as they walked out the door.

\--

It was late, Kuroo checked his watch as the museum came in to view- _23:36_. Tsukishima fished his keys from his bag, unlocking the side door and locking it behind them when they came in.

The museum lights were all out spare for a few auxiliary ones near the various doors. Kuroo looked around in awe. The skeletons were more realistic in the dark, their thin support wires hidden in the absence of light.

“Are you here at night very often Tsukishima?” Kuroo asked, wandering around gazing at all the dark structures.

Tsukishima walked beside him, thumbs tucked into the waist band of his joggers. “Not often, sometimes I get caught up in a project and stay late.” He looked down at his feet, scuffing his sneakers on the floor. “I didn’t actually get an email Tetsurou.”

Kuroo froze and looked at him. He was still looking down at the floor, shit-eating grin on his face. Kuroo felt more confident than usual, maybe it was the bit of booze in his blood talking. “So why did you bring me here Kei?”

Tsukishima did not hesitate, he wrapped both his hands behind Kuroo’s neck, thumbs in the crook beneath his ears, and pulled their mouths together. Kuroo’s hands slipped under his t-shirt hastily, gripping his waist and yanking them closer.

“I’ve thought about this for days” Tsukishima said breathlessly. He pulled back, gently grazing his mouth up Kuroo’s jaw. “I’m glad you’re healed.” He whispered into Kuroo’s ear.

He felt shivers run down his back, an involuntary thrust in his hips. Kuroo ran his hands down Tsukishima’s back- he was lean but muscular, just like he was sculpted from clay. He reached his waistband slipping one hand under the hem, gripping Tsukishima’s ass, and squeezing him in roughly.

His tongue danced with Tsukishima’s, and even ebb and flow between them. Kuroo withdrew, breathing hot down Tsukishima’s neck, finding a spot to suck just at the hem of his sweatshirt. It elicited a soft moan from Tsukishima’s mouth, his fingers woven into Kuroo’s chaotic hair. 

Tsukishima gripped Kuroo’s cheeks, pulling him up to meet his eyes, their usual bright amber eclipsed with an alluring shadow. “Follow me, I want to show you something.”

He took his hand, and they went _running_ through the halls of the museum. Their laughter echoed through the massive gallery. It would have been spooky if he were alone -the museum was enormous, dark, and full of skeletons- but he had Tsukishima, and this place was like a second home, all the exhibits a part of him.

They came up to a door in the space exhibit. “This hasn’t opened to the public yet.” He never let go of Kuroo, guiding him into a pitch-black room.

“You’re not going to kill me in here are you?” Kuroo chuckled. The room was completely lightless.

“No” Tsukishima squeezed his hand. “Watch.” He felt his hand along the wall and flipped a switch. Instantly the dark room was transformed into an infinite space, glittering with stars all around them.

“Don’t tell Oikawa I let you in here.” He said, pulling them into the center of the room.

“It’s incredible.” Kuroo stood there looking around. He looked up to the ceiling and closed his eyes for a moment. “Like the rain at night.”

“You get it now don’t you,” Tsukishima laughed. Kuroo wrapped his arms around him.

“This is the coolest thing I’ve ever done.” Their lips came together, Kuroo’s tongue sliding easily back into Tsukishima’s mouth. He nipped gently at his bottom lip, playfully running his tongue across it.

Tsukishima’s hands ran under Kuroo’s sweatshirt and up his chest. A cool sting from his rings against his skin, a gentle _ahh_ escaping from him. He ran his thumbs over Kuroo’s nipples, teasing.

Kuroo thrusted their hips together, both his hands in the back of his sweats. Tsukishima rubbing himself up against Kuroo needily.

Tsukishima stepped back; all the stars of the room reflected in his lenses. “Let me.”

Before he had the chance to say _huh?_ Tsukishima had dropped to the floor, throwing off his bag, sitting back on his heels, and gazing up at him asking for an answer. Kuroo sucked in a deep breath and nodded – _yes._

He slid his fingers under the waistband of Kuroo’s sweats and boxers, pulling them down slowly, freeing his waiting erection. Kuroo felt the cold sensation of the open-air rush over him.

“ _Kirei._ ” Tsukishima purred. He gripped one hand on Kuroo’s hip, the other flush on his abdomen, his thumb moving slowly around the base of his cock.

A whine seeped from his throat as Tsukishima traced a line with his tongue from the base to the tip of his cock, already leaking with precum.

Kuroo laced a hand through Tsukishima’s golden locks, the other over the hand gripped tightly on around hip. “ _Tsukki”_ he breathed out as Tsukishima peppered kisses around the tip, occasionally breathing hot air on to him.

Teasing him, Tsukishima sucked and lick on just the head, tonguing at the slit. He hummed happily sending vibrations through him, then took Kuroo’s entire length easily into his mouth.

Kuroo let out a loud moan at the sensation, tightening his grip in Tsukishima’s hair.

“ _Fuck”_ his voice was raspy, winded. Tsukishima had him deep in his throat, bobbing slowly in and out. Slowly, but _strong,_ sucking his cheeks around him.

He pulled back with a _pop_ , looking up at Kuroo through blonde lashes. His glasses clinging to the end of his nose.

“You taste good.” He said, running his thumb along his bottom lip.

The heat in the room was overwhelming. Truly, he had no idea how big the room even was, it was impossible to tell, but the air surrounding them was stifling. Kuroo knelt and sat down in front Tsukishima, pulling his hoodie off and throwing it to the side.

Tsukishima looked over him hungrily, reaching his hands out to feel Kuroo’s chest. Kuroo stopped him, shifting, and hoisting him up on to his lap. “ _Nnhh”_ a soft whine escaping Tsukishima as Kuroo sucked at the end of his jaw, pushing down Tsukishima’s hips on his still exposed erection.

Tsukishima stripped off his glasses, shirt, and his hoodie. His pale skin glowed in the lights. Kuroo inhaled deeply against his collarbone, he smelled of parchment and patchouli. He kissed a trail down his chest, Tsukishima leaning back, Kuroo’s arm secure around his back.

“ _You ready for more_?” Kuroo murmured, his tongue tracing circles around Tsukishima’s nipples, his free hand groping him through his pants.

“ _Mmmm, yes”_ he moaned, his nails digging into the back of Kuroo’s neck. 

Kuroo lifted him off his lap, sliding back and laying him down on the glass floor, Tsukishima hissed at the coolness. He pulled off Tsukishima’s joggers, tossing them to the side.

He held Tsukishima’s arms to the floor above is head, biting and sucking marks down his chest. His nails scratched lightly down his side, provoking shivers through Tsukishima.

“Oh don’t tease me _Tetsurou_ ”

He let out an amused “ _hnff”_ at that, hoisting one of Tsukishima’s long legs up on his shoulder. At that moment he must have made a face of concern because Tsukishima read his mind and laughed “Bag”.

He slid the bag over to him, rifled through for a moment, and tossed Kuroo a condom and a small bottle of lube.

With slicked fingers he entered Tsukishima, rubbing, and stretching him gently. He relished in the look of pleasure on his face, with just the light of the stars filling the room.

“You’re so pretty” Kuroo said, planting kisses along Tsukishima’s inner thigh. He put in two... then three fingers, Tsukishima signaling to him with a nod that he was ready. He ripped open the condom slipping it on.

He lined himself up to Tsukishima’s entrance, exhaling loudly at the feeling. Pressing in gently Tsukishima whined with pleasure, biting down on his bottom lip.

He progressed slowly, trying his best to hold back. Holding still for just a moment, assuring Tsukishima was ready, then moving in further until bottoming out.

“ _Fuck_ ” Tsukishima moaned, “Where have _you_ been?” one hand pushing his bangs from his eyes.

“Japan” Kuroo breathed cheekily. He sped up, thrusting all of himself into Tsukishima. Waves of pleasure astounded him. He felt like he was having an out of body experience, he hoped he wasn’t dreaming.

His fingers dug into Tsukishima’s hips, he was sure there would be bruises left. The sounds of Kuroo’s quads smacking against Tsukishima’s ass echoed through the room.

Kuroo could feel himself getting close, the look on Tsukishima’s face indicating he was too. He moved Tsukishima’s legs off his shoulders, leaning down to him. He wanted to be closer, he wanted to hear every noise he made.

Tsukishima moaned beside his ear, his heels in Kuroo’s back. “ _nnnm_ I’m gonna come-” Kuroo’s arms bracing him around Tsukishima’s head. He ran his tongue up the side of his neck, biting gently on his ear.

“Come for me.” Kuroo purred between breaths. 

He could feel Tsukishima’s orgasm run through his body, could hear it escape from his throat, warmth spreading over his chest. That pushed him over the edge, he looked Tsukishima in the eyes as he came, riding it out to the sounds of their breathing.

Kuroo collapsed beside him. They laid on the floor of the room for awhile, allowing their heart rates to go down.

“There aren’t security cameras in here, are there?” Kuroo asked, a part of him was genuinely concerned.

“Not yet.” Tsukishima winked at him, laughing. _Oh thank God._

The two of them got cleaned up and dressed, shutting off the lights and heading out. They strolled through the museum just a bit before leaving.

“You don’t actually need your laptop, right?” Kuroo inquired, putting an arm around Tsukishima’s shoulders.

“Hah, no. I never leave it here anyway.” He said pulling his keys from his bag. “Why don’t you come back to my place?”

It caught Kuroo off guard. His face twisted up trying to spit out an answer. 

“Sorry, uh, forget I said anything.” Tsukishima said smiling, waving his words away.

“Oh uh, no, I-“ Kuroo was stuttering again, his nerves coming back to him.

“It’s OK.” Tsukishima said cutting him off. He squeezed his hand assuredly. “Just let me walk you home.”

Kuroo smiled, a bit embarrassed but grateful. “Of course. Thanks”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The star room inspiration: https://news.artnet.com/app/news-upload/2017/10/Kusama-Infinity-mirrored-room-The-Souls-of-Millions-of-Light-Years-Away-installation-2.jpg


	11. Beneath Your Beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “A-are you alright?” he stammered.   
> Kuroo looked up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly. “Yeah uh, I just-“ He couldn’t figure out what to say. “I just haven’t had this in a long time.”   
> \--  
> Song of the chapter:  
>  Beneath Your Beautiful by Labrinth ft. Emeli Sandé  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqIxCtEveG8

**_May_ **

Though April showers did bring May flowers, the rain never ceased. Unlike Japan, England was to remain relatively cold and wet well into June, only then would some warmth pick up.

Kuroo appreciated the climate. It was temperate. The extreme heat of Japan was his least favorite time of the year and he was looking forward to his first time without it. He had always enjoyed the rain, and now, he loved it just a bit more.

Since the “Night at the Museum” as Bokuto calls it, Kuroo and Tsukishima had seen each other a few times. A few trips to coffee shops and lunch in various parks but nothing formal. He was trying not to get ahead of himself. Was he interested in him? Yes. Did he have the best sex of his life in a museum with him? Also yes. Despite the clear attraction, the prospect of a real relationship still seemed daunting to him.

Kuroo couldn’t help but reflect on what him and Kenma were. Their relationship had been his only one. And now, as an adult, he wasn’t sure what relationships were even supposed to be like. He’s smart enough to have figured out that Tsukishima does in fact _like_ him, that much is clear. Though, he couldn’t say why.

For whatever reason he was surprised when Tsukishima asked him out for dinner.

14:31 Tsukki: “Would you go to dinner with me tomorrow night?”

14:33 “Of course! Yeah! What do you have in mind?”

14:45 Tsukki: “My friend recommended a place for us. Smart-casual. You’ll see.”

14:50 “Oh, ok 😊”

14:57 Tsukki: “I’ll come get you around 6 tomorrow then 😊”

\--

_Slight panic._

15:00 “Hey uh, what does smart-casual mean?”

15:01 “Please don’t tell anyone I had to ask you this.”

15:04 Akaashi: “Of course. It’s just like business casual dress code.”

15:06 “Oh god ok duh thank you.”

\--

Bright LED lights reflecting on to him, Kuroo stood in front of his mirror, _I think I look smart,_ he thought, tucking in his silk shirt before fastening his belt. Him and Tsukishima hadn’t really been on any legit dates. Or at least what Kuroo assumed would constitute as a true date. They were just talking every day, occasionally meeting up, and hooked up once in one of the world’s most famous museums, no big deal.

He slipped on his shoes and decided to pace through his living room until Tsukishima showed up. While he was very eager for their date, he was nervous. He hadn’t felt like this in, well, ever? It was a good nervous. Like the feeling you get right before presenting something you worked hard on, like you know you’re going to win but you’re just excited for the game.

Yes, Tsukishima liked him. That was as much of a start as any. They hadn’t talked about anything too personal. So far, Kuroo was learning things about him here and there. Tsukishima had an older brother who lived in a smaller town up north and his parents had separated years ago, he didn’t see either of them very often. Tsukishima had told him about his best friend who he used to live with until he landed his permanent job at the museum.

Kuroo on the other hand, hadn’t had an opportunity to share much about himself yet. He felt the weight of his past glaring down at him. He didn’t know how to start the conversation, or if he even should. They weren’t dating anyway, nothing official at least.

Boyfriend. Yeah, he wanted Tsukishima to be his boyfriend he decided. Tonight, he would ask Tsukishima to define the relationship. He cringed at the thought, but he wanted to move forward, and this was the first step.

Tsukishima knocked on his door at 18:00 sharp.

“Hi! Come in,” he said opening the door, “Let me just grab my jacket real quick.” And Kuroo rushed off to grab his coat off his bed.

Tsukishima stepped inside, he had just a plain t-shirt under a cuffed blazer, but he had a series of chains draped delicately around his neck. Kuroo loved the way Tsukishima dressed and carried himself; he always exuded confidence in whatever he wore, completely comfortable in his own skin.

Kuroo made it back to the doorway, jacket on. Tsukishima was just leaning against the wall smirking at him. Kuroo stood there for a moment, expecting Tsukishima to say something. He didn’t. He carefully looked Kuroo up and down, his smirk widening into a smile.

“Alright, let’s go.” Kuroo walked to open the door again, locking it behind them.

He stood there wiggling his key, that damn lock was always tricky. “You look good.” Tsukishima purred into his ear, embracing him from behind and planting a warm kiss on his neck. Kuroo shivered, nearly throwing his keys to the ground. He chuckled at Kuroo, giving his side a pinch.

Kuroo flushed, turning back to him, “S-so where are we headed?” he stuttered out.

“Oh, you’ll see.” Tsukishima said grabbing Kuroo’s hand and lacing their fingers together. “I’ve never been there but Tadashi had nothing but good things to say.”

They walked to the underground and rode to the other side of town. Kuroo didn’t think he had been to this area yet. It was busy with people, large shops lining the street. They walked down a side street and up to the entrance of the restaurant. Although, from first glance you wouldn’t know it was that.

There were no signs outside, it simply looked like a house, blending into the buildings around it. There was an attendant standing at the door that was propped open. Anyone walking by wouldn’t have thought twice about the building.

“Reservation in the Glade for Tsukishima.” He said to the attendant who nodded checking his tablet.

“Welcome to _sketch_ Mr. Tsukishima, follow me.” He replied, gesturing them inside.

When they walked through the doors Kuroo thought maybe he had stepped through a portal. In the entry way there was vines and flowers lining the walls. Everywhere he looked was resplendent, like an art exhibit constructed out of real plants and flowers. They walked down a flight of stairs and into where Kuroo assumed they were eating. _This must be the Glade,_ he thought.

And the name was aptly fitting. The room was a whimsical swirl of greens, blues, and purples. Various plants dangling from the ceiling. Any inch of space that wasn’t consumed by a real plant was beautifully painted reminiscent of Monet, patches of moss covered the floors.

“Cool huh?” Tsukishima inquired, sliding Kuroo’s chair out for him.

Kuroo kept looking around in awe. This wasn’t simply a restaurant, this was art. “It’s incredible.”

“There’s other dining rooms here as well. I just liked this one the best.” He learned forward, resting his chin on his fist, eyeing Kuroo hungrily.

“I love it,” Kuroo said looking back to him, “thanks for inviting me.” He felt a bit out of place. He was dressed nicely but the whole place was so _posh_. He couldn’t help but think how perfect Tsukishima seemed to fit everywhere he went, and he just felt like an outsider trying to conform.

Tsukishima chuckled behind his hand. That laugh always did funny things to Kuroo. He might be carved out of stone, but when he laughs, he softens- and consequentially, Kuroo does too. He felt the heat rise to his face just as the waitress came up to them to take their orders.

This menu was confusing. There were all these course options and names of dishes he didn’t recognize. He managed to spot some curry something and went with that. Tsukishima ordered some glorified version of fish and chips. 

“So, tell me about Japan, Tetsurou,” Tsukishima said sipping his cocktail.

Kuroo felt something flip over in his stomach at the thought of home. He awkwardly chugged some of this drink before replying. “Um, well, what do you want to know?” he fiddled with his fingers under the table.

“Alright, I’ll start simple.” He replied, staring him down behind his frames, “tell me about your favorite place there.”

Kuroo thought for a while, revisiting places in his head.

“Hokkaido, in the winter.” Kuroo said, gazing up at the ceiling, then letting his eyes fall back down to meet Tsukishima’s. “It snows like mad and I just love it. There’s this lake where these ice flowers bloom every winter.” He said animatedly, shaping the frozen flowers with his hands.

Tsukishima was just smiling at him, taking in every word he said.

“The snow festival in Sapporo is fun but it’s too crowded, too manufactured. I like to visit beaches or lakes in the winter. It just seems a bit otherworldly I guess, like you’re not supposed to see it that way.” He felt like he was talking too much and opted to sip on his drink. His nerves were subsiding as he spoke and Tsukishima’s gaze, while intense, was calming. He made Kuroo feel like he was where he was doing something right.

“That sounds lovely,” Tsukishima now looked more curious, “I’d love to see it someday.”

A tingling ran up his neck. He laughed awkwardly trying to think of a response. “Um, uh- what’s your favorite place here?” _That came out poorly_. “I mean, besides the museum.”

“Hmmm…” Tsukishima looked down at the ice in his glass, pondering. “Stonehenge is really great, but there’s always a lot of people there… so I suppose the Jurassic coast.”

“Jurassic coast?” Kuroo objected.

“It’s a stretch of coastline in the South. It’s famous for its fossilized marine life among other things.” He pulled one of his golden curls behind his ear. “I’ll take you there.”

“I’d uh, yeah, I’d like that.” He stammered. A weekend getaway with Tsukishima sounded like a dream. He had never done anything like that with Kenma, who, never really wanted to go anywhere with him. There were no limits on him now, he could go do whatever his heart desired.

They got their dishes and ate. They each got four different courses of artfully plated food and everything was delicious. They took a few minutes after they paid to wander around the rest of the restaurant. There was another dining room with plush pink couches lining the walls, a futuristic bathroom with a massive garden right in the center, and a baroque style bar up a flight of stairs.

“We’ve got to come back here,” Kuroo exclaimed as they walked outside.

Tsukishima grabbed his hand, “Yeah, lets. Walk with me?” he asked, eyes sparkling.

“Of course,” he squeezed his hand in response.

The weather was clear, windy, but not too cold. They walked along looking into shop windows, joking about brands they would never be able to afford.

“So Tsukki, where do you live?” He had wondered for a while but finally got the nerve to spit the words out.

Tsukishima raised an eyebrow at him, but the corners of his mouth turned up. “Near the museum actually, not far from you. Would you want to come over?” he looked innocent but excited, holding both of his hands around Kuroo’s.

Kuroo took his hands up to his lips and give Tsukishima’s knuckles a peck. “Yeah, let’s go.”

\--

They hopped on the tube and went back to the other side of the city. They got off at the same station they had departed from, walking for a bit before arriving outside what appeared to be a nice house.

“Is this where you live?” Kuroo asked, a bit shocked at how large it looked. No doubt he had jogged by here a few times before.

“This house has four units in it, I’m here on the ground floor.” He pointed to the large window, then unlocking the front door, and flipping the light on.

Warm lights illuminated the large living room. There was a large fireplace with a dark leather couch in front of it, and huge bay windows covered with sheer drapes. Kuroo looked around, noticing details in every corner of the room.

There was a shadowbox on the wall with real butterflies pinned inside, a bookshelf littered with giant old books and models. A desk sat in one corner of the room, an old lamp and a globe sitting on top. The entire place felt like Tsukishima and that now-familiar scent of fresh parchment filled the space.

“Your place is remarkable.” Kuroo said running a finger along the ornate mantle.

“Heh, thanks,” Tsukishima replied coyly, “make yourself at home. Want a drink?” he questioned before turning towards to kitchen.

Kuroo sat down on the couch and shrugged off his coat, “Oh sure, thank you.” He noticed a picture frame sitting on the side table. A young-looking Tsukishima stood beside what looked like a taller version of himself.

Tsukishima returned with a glass of gin for Kuroo, the typical whiskey for himself. “This must be your brother huh?” he inquired as Tsukishima sat down beside him.

Leaning over to the picture he answered, “Yeah that’s Akiteru, I think I was 13 in that picture. I’m taller than him now.” He scoffed a bit.

“What’s he like? Your brother.”

“We used to fight a lot. Well, not fight, I guess we just didn’t talk for a long time. But when our parents separated, we became really close, and have been ever since. He’s got a dog where he lives up North, but he comes down here to visit me a lot.” Tsukishima set his drink down and leaned in to Kuroo’s shoulder.

“I love dogs,” Kuroo exhaled rolling his head back on to the couch. “Growing up we never had pets, but I always tried to bring stray cats home with me.”

Tsukishima turned and kissed his cheek, “You’re cute. I can imagine you trying to coerce a poor cat into coming home with you.”

“I’ll have you know all animals love me, thank you very much!” he huffed playfully.

“Oh I don’t doubt that.” He said sitting up. “Can I ask you something?”

Kuroo stiffened, then promptly snapped out of it, “Well that was a question already…” he tried to joke, waving his finger presumptuously.

“ _Pfftt_ , you dork. You know what I meant.”

Kuroo shrugged nervously, “Yeah hit me.”

“Date me.” He said, both his hands on Kuroo’s thigh. “Sorry I guess that wasn’t really a question…hah, would you please be my boyfriend? Sorry that’s better.” Tsukishima’s cheeks were pink, but his words still came out strong. Not a hint of hesitation to them.

Kuroo gaped for a moment, just looking into those breathtaking amber eyes.

“Yes, yes, uhm yeah, I’d love to.” The words tumbling out of him.

Tsukishima’s pupils dilated and he kissed Kuroo roughly, wrapping his arms around his neck. “I really like you.” He said nuzzling into Kuroo’s neck.

Kuroo could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He was in disbelief. To have someone so unashamedly confess to him was overwhelming and he could feel it building up in his throat.

He choked on his words, “I really like you too.” His eyes swelling.

Tsukishima pulled back, looking at him. His expression went from gleeful to concerned. “A-are you alright?” he stammered.

Kuroo looked up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly. “Yeah uh, I just-“ He couldn’t figure out what to say. “I just haven’t had this in a long time.”

A single tear slid down his face, but he was smiling. Tsukishima had a weak expression.

“Tell me about it.” He wiped his thumb under Kuroo’s eye and ran his fingers through his long wild hair.

“I, uh, I don’t know if you really want to hear about my dating history. Isn’t that a bit weird?” he gnawed on the inside of his cheek.

“No, I want to know.” Tsukishima protested, holding Kuroo’s face in his hand. “I want to see _inside_.”

Kuroo sighed, trying to breath out the weight pooling in his lungs. He sat up and took another swig of his gin, finishing it off.

“Ok, well, I’ve only been in one relationship… and well uh, it was long.” He rubbed his hands together, they were clammy. “We got together when we were really young and dated through high school and college.”

Tsukishima sat quietly beside him, listening carefully.

“He sort of broke me. Well, twice, I guess. I think he stopped loving me long before he let me go. I think he just didn’t want to hurt me.” Kuroo felt himself relaxing, it had become easier to talk about.

“I don’t think I ever healed from the first time he left me. I was consumed with this idea of perfection that I didn’t realize it wasn’t working.”

Tsukishima held his hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze, letting him know it was ok to keep talking.

“In the months before we broke up, I was at a point where I thought we would be married in the next few years. I really believed that we’d be together forever.” Kuroo’s hands were trembling slightly but Tsukishima held them steady.

“But this night at a concert I realized he didn’t love me anymore… It wasn’t that there was someone else. But you could _tell_. I could _see it_. He hadn’t looked at me like that in ages… I think if I hadn’t of realized that then- then the break might’ve killed me.” He laughed airily, trying to play it off.

Tsukishima’s eyes were misty behind his glasses. 

“But I figured it out, we both did. And I let him go, I wasn’t going to fight it. And now, everything is so different. I feel so… just so happy and so incredibly lucky.

Really, today was the first like real date I’ve ever been on. I’ve been so comfortable in my loneliness now, it’s a different feeling to have someone there for you…” he trailed off looking down at their hands.

“Hey, I’m glad you shared this with me.” He scooted closer to him. “I’m here now. And I’ll be patient. I want to show you what you deserve.”

Kuroo’s chin quivered. He pulled Tsukishima on to his lap and hugged him tightly. “Thank you. I’m- uh, sorry I rambled.”

“Of course. But I have another question.” He lifted his head off Kuroo’s shoulder to look at him. “What do you think about him now?”

Truthfully, he hadn’t thought about Kenma _now_. He only reflected on his memories of him. “Well, at times I miss the good things we had. I miss who he was when everything seemed perfect.” He slowly rubbed his thumb on Tsukishima’s hip. “But, I don’t want any of it back. We haven’t spoken since that night and I don’t have any desire to. I just… hope he’s growing.” 

Tsukishima looked up from their intwined hands, “Do you mind if I ask his name?”

Tsukishima was either concerned or cocky, Kuroo presumed the latter. He sure as hell wouldn’t care to know who his exe’s were. The astonished look on his face faded when Tsukishima spoke again, “I just don’t want it to be some weird unspoken thing ya know?”

And Kuroo understood, he had no reason not to tell him anyway. “It’s Kenma.”

“Ah, Kenma.” Tsukishima breathed, as if tasting it. “Well, he was lucky. But I’m glad he left you.” He cupped Kuroo’s face and kissed the corner of his mouth, then his lips. “Now you’re here, and now _I’m_ lucky.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listening and understanding makes me soft. (The bar is sadly set very low atm...honestly its's on the floor but I digress)
> 
> sketch is a incredible restaurant in London I've had the pleasure of visiting - check out how bloody cool it is inside https://www.instagram.com/sketchlondon/


	12. Would That I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You two are not quiet, you know?” Tsukishima grumbled; eyes still shut. 
> 
> Both of them laughed at him, “Ah come on Tsukki!” Tadashi pleaded jokingly. 
> 
> Tsukishima raised his head, sitting up and opening his eyes to shoot a glare at Tadashi. He turned back to Kuroo, gently kissing the side of his jaw, “At least someone’s respectful.” A rush of red swept across his face.  
> \--
> 
> Song of the chapter:  
> Would That I - Hozier  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsu5ZZwzFyk

**_June_ **

“Hey, wake up.”

“ _nnnnhhhh_ ”

“You have class and I have work come on. Don’t make me pour water on you.”

Despite being thoroughly exhausted, and incredibly comfortable, Kuroo did as he was told and got up. Light was pouring into the room around him and he could smell coffee somewhere close by.

He rubbed his eyes, opening then slowly trying to adjust. Tsukishima had left a mug of coffee for him on the pile of books beside the bed. He grabbed it and down most of it in one go, he really needed to get going.

Last night they had stayed up reading Kuroo’s last final before term ended over and over until it was perfect. It was a series of 11 different documents, culminating in a massive project proposal. Hard work? No. Just complex and extensive enough to warrant crawling into bed at 03:00. Today he would submit it and be done with taught classes for the summer.

Tsukishima poked his head in the room, checking on him, “I’m getting in the shower ok? There’s food on the counter for you.”

Kuroo nodded sleepily, gesturing his coffee mug in thanks. He slinked out of bed and wandered to the kitchen. On the counter was a plate with an omelet. Every time Tsukishima cooked for him he was overwhelmed with gratitude. He was amazed that someone could be so thoughtful.

By the time he had finished eating and was scrolling lazily, Tsukishima had gotten out of the shower. He walked into the kitchen in a loose robe. “Are you going to shower or?... Please stop staring at me, go shower!” He had grabbed his cup of coffee and rushed to push Kuroo out of his chair.

“Can’t help it moonshine~” Kuroo sang as he ran off to the bathroom. He heard Tsukishima curse him as he headed down the hall.

Things had been easy lately and Kuroo was the happiest he thought he had ever been. They saw each other often, meeting for lunch or dinner a few times a week. Kuroo was starting to understand that this is what relationships can be like.

He found himself anxious though, in the nights when he was back at his flat by himself. Every once in a while, he slipped into it. Into that vicious cycle of doubt. _It’s just because this is new,_ he thought to himself. He really liked Tsukishima, but he feared being dependent on him. Constantly worried as to why he didn’t reply, only to learn he had fallen asleep or was reading a book. He had given him no reason to worry so why did he?

These were all things he pondered late at night… or sometimes in the shower.

“I swear you’re going to miss your submission deadline! Get out!” Tsukishima had come into the bathroom trying to get him to hurry. “Its 8:42 come on!”

_Shit shit shit_ he was right.

He got out quickly and got dressed, throwing all his papers and notebooks into his bag, he was ready to go. Tsukishima stood in the doorway waiting for him.

“You have a hard time getting up, don’t you?” he joked, locking the door behind them.

“Nah, I just don’t like getting out of _your_ bed,” Kuroo replied kissing his cheek. Tsukishima blushed in response, smirking at him.

They walked a few blocks to the corner where they would part. “Good luck on your paper Tetsu” Tsukishima said pushing a strand of stray hair behind Kuroo’s ear.

“Thanks,” he pulled him in for a hug. “Have a good day at work.” He kissed his temple before they parted.

“Oh good! You’re running late too!” A voice shouted from down the street. Bokuto was running along the sidewalk towards them, a stack of papers held tightly to his chest.

They snickered at him, and Kuroo wondered if Akaashi and him had also stayed up working on his paper.

Tsukishima squeezed his hand as Bokuto caught up to them, and turned to go, “See ya,” he waved and walked off towards the museum.

“Morning bro! You get your project all done?” Bokuto clapped him on the back.

“Yeah and I’m exhausted, stayed up until 3 trying to get it just right.” He yawned.

“Tsukki helped you with it?” his big yellow eyes looking at Kuroo questioningly.

Kuroo smiled, “Yeah he’s an excellent proofreader, not surprising. Fixed a load of my mistakes.” He ran his hand through his hair, remembering Tsukishima pushing it behind his ear. It had grown to the point of brushing his shoulders, but he had no intentions of cutting it.

Tsukishima had said one night ‘ _I love the way you flick it off your shoulder.’_ When he had said he needed to cut it. And after that he never considered cutting it again.

“ _Guh_ , you guys are so cute.” Bokuto pouted crossing his arms. “Akaashi read through mine and marked stuff that was wrong but didn’t help me fix it!!”

“Hah you do have to do some things yourself dude.”

“hmff.”

They somehow made it to class before class started and got their work turned in. So far, both of them had been getting good grades, so they weren’t too worried about it, but still wanted to do their best. Their teachers were merciful and let them out early since it was their last class anyway. During the summer they would all be independently working on their thesis projects that they would turn in the following year.

\--

After their second and last class for the semester, they went to go get some lunch with Iwaizumi.

“When do you think you’ll go back to the Japan Kuroo?” Bokuto asked through a mouth full of food.

“Ahh well,” he stretched his arms behind his head, “not any time soon I don’t think. I don’t really have any reason to, not to mention it’s a lot of money.” He shrugged and went back to his food.

Bokuto eyed him suspiciously, “Hmm well what are you going to do all summer?”

Kuroo had only partly thought about this. “I should probably get a job, or something shouldn’t I?”

Iwaizumi scoffed, “You have no idea, do you?”

He chuckled sipping on his tea. Usually he had things planned out. But right now, he was carefree, not worried about the future or thinking about it. He was at a point where it felt like things had fallen into place.

“I’ll probably look for a part time something or other, but I just want to spend the summer exploring honestly.” He kicked his feet up on the footstool in front of him, letting his head roll all the way back. “What’re you two planning to get up to anyway?”

Iwaizumi explained that he would be working at a rehabilitation facility and Bokuto was coaching various sports for kid’s summer school. Kuroo only had experience at his shitty office job from the year before to go off of so he thought it unlikely he would find anything good to do. 

Regardless, he didn’t care right now. His finances were stable enough with what he had saved and scholarships, so it wasn’t at the forefront of his mind. His mind was consumed by the prospect of spending the summer with his friends and his boyfriend.

\--

15:30 “Oi, haven’t heard ya in a while, how ya been?”

15:31 “How’s tall silver and handsome treating you?”

15:35 Yaku: “Istg Kuroo if you really want to talk to me don’t push my buttons.”

15:36 “I could’ve easily slipped in a joke there, but I will resist. Want to chat soon?”

15:39 Yaku: “Sure, call me in the morning when you get up. I’m not doing much tomorrow.”

15:40 Yaku: “I do miss you. Looking forward to it.”

15:41 “Love you too Yakkun~”

It was a beautiful June Friday, summer fast approaching but the weather was still mild. Kuroo laid back on his bed, tossing his phone to the side. Might as well take a nap. He was still beat from being up so late.

\--

He woke up an hour later, sun still shining bright through his curtains. He rummaged around for his phone and found it with a missed call from Tsukishima. _Oops._ He sat up and smacked his cheeks trying to wake up thoroughly and called Tsukishima back.

“Hey sorry, I was taking a nap.”

“Sleepy eh? Cute. Anyway, Hitoka has insisted that the four of us go out tonight, what do you think?”

“Oooh sure, can’t believe I haven’t met Tadashi yet.”

“Heh, try not to scare him ok?”

“Pft, as if I could scare anyone.”

“Like you don’t terrify Hitoka every time she sees you...”

“Definitely not my fault! But, yes yes, I’ll be on my best behavior Sir.”

“Alright, come over in a couple hours, I’ll let you know when I’m out of here.”

Kuroo was excited. He had heard a lot about Tsukishima’s best friend but somehow, they had never had a chance to meet. Conflicting schedules he supposed. He had chatted with Hitoka a few times, and if Tadashi was anything like her, he could understand Tsukishima wanting him to behave.

He had become really relaxed with Tsukishima. They were friends and lovers. He had become comfortable with him quickly, though Tsukishima didn’t appreciate him leaving the bathroom door open all the time… But still, Tsukishima still had a way of making him a nervous stuttering mess like when they first met.

He decided to head out on a run before showering and leaving for Tsukishima’s place.

19:20 “Are we getting food? Want me to pick something up for you, I’m starving.”

19:25 Tsukki: “I think we’re just meeting at a club, so yeah probably a good idea to get food.”

19:26 Tsukki: “Thanks Tetsu 😊”

Kuroo swung into a Mediterranean place nearby and got some food for the two of them. Tsukishima greeted him at the door with an exasperated smile. He quickly embraced him, lifting him up just a bit.

“Tired?” Kuroo asked setting him down.

“Well I was up last night helping some guy write a paper and haven’t had time for any rest today.” He said flatly, but turned back at him with a smile, carrying their food into the kitchen.

Kuroo followed him, stopping when he saw Tsukishima looking down at the counter. He looked exhausted, both hands gripping the tabletop and his glasses falling to the end of his nose. He was strong, but strong in such a delicate way.

Kuroo gently put both his hands on Tsukishima’s shoulders and pressed a soft kiss into the back of his neck. “Thank you for helping me last night.” He proceeded to rub gentle circles into Tsukishima’s traps with his thumbs. A sigh of relief escaped Tsukishima at the pressure.

Tsukishima leaned back into him, rolling his head back onto Kuroo’s shoulder. “Thank _you_ Tetsu.”

Kuroo wrapped his arms around him and nuzzled into his neck. He didn’t need Tsukishima to say anything more to know what he meant. He just hoped Tsukishima could feel it from him as well.

“Want me to make some coffee?” Kuroo asked, still wrapped around Tsukishima while he dished up their dinner.

Tsukishima turned to him and kissed his cheek, “That sounds great. The grinder is above the fridge.”

Despite Kuroo being a dreadful cook, he could make coffee. Though Tsukishima had had to teach him how to properly use his French press, he had it down now.

He prepared a cup for each of them, and they sat down to eat their food.

Both feeling more awake, they headed out to the club where they would meet up with Hitoka and Tadashi.

“Tsukki!!” Two high voices shouted in unison upon their entering the club, which, coincidentally was the first place Kuroo had been to when he first moved here.

The dark-haired male immediately rushed over to them, a ponytail bouncing behind his head, giving Tsukishima a big hug. He was cute, and radiated happiness upon seeing his friend. He spoke animatedly, his hands gesturing wildly. Kuroo felt a bit out of place in the moment, Tadashi had immediately started babbling something to Tsukishima, but Hitoka snuck up on him, a nervous smile on her face.

“H-Hi again Mr.Kuroo! How a-are you?” She spoke quickly, looking up at him through a mess of blonde bangs, half of her hair pulled into a bun on top of her head.

“Uh-hah, Kuroo is fine, Hitoka. Good to see you!” he grinned at her trying his best to be casual without being awkward.

“Tadashi please calm down; I saw you last week.” Kuroo overheard him saying. Tsukishima turned toward him, grabbing his hand. “Anyway, this is Tetsurou.” His smiled shined brightly, gripping Kuroo’s hand tightly with both of his.

Tadashi flushed, his freckled skin becoming rosy, “Oh gosh sorry, hi! Nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you from these two.” He chuckled pointing a thumb at Hitoka. She immediately looked down at her shoes, chuckling under her breath.

They grabbed drinks and settled into a booth. Kuroo told Tadashi all about his program and career interests. He learned that Tadashi was working a similar office job to the one Kuroo had back in Japan. He was in school studying computer science part-time while working. Hitoka worked the information desk at the museum – a job Tsukishima managed to hook her up with - and was due to graduate later this month.

After some chit-chatting and drinks Tadashi and Hitoka ran off to the dancefloor. Kuroo could tell Kei seemed a bit tired and wasn’t going to push him to dance.

“I like your friends.” He wrapped an arm around Tsukishima, pulling him close.

“They’re alright.” He mumbled shimmying his arms around Kuroo’s midsection. Kuroo angled his arm up to run his fingers through Tsukishima’s hair, thick but still fine and soft. “You’ll make me fall asleep Tetsu.”

He pressed his lips on to the top of Tsukishima’s head, “Ten minutes, rest a bit.”

“ _Hnnn_ ok, then we’ll dance.”

“Whatever you say~” Kuroo sang softly, holding Tsukishima’s head to his chest.

Tsukishima dozed off for a bit despite the loud music filling the room. Kuroo just sat holding him quietly. Tsukishima didn’t seem like the type to allow himself to actually sleep in a public place like this, but Kuroo liked to think it was because he felt safe with him. His heart swelled with that feeling of someone putting their trust in you, allowing you to care for and protect them.

Tadashi and Hitoka came back with more drinks, beads of sweat around their faces.

“Geez, Tsukki passed out, didn’t he?” Tadashi asked Kuroo, handing him a cocktail. “He has a way of falling asleep easily, but usually doesn’t in public like this.”

“It’s probably because of Kuroo,” Hitoka piped in, a jubilant smile beaming up at Tadashi.

He nodded at her, turning to Kuroo, “Probably right.” He winked.

“You two are not quiet, you know?” Tsukishima grumbled; eyes still shut.

Both of them laughed at him, “Ah come on Tsukki!” Tadashi pleaded jokingly.

Tsukishima raised his head, sitting up and opening his eyes to shoot a glare at Tadashi. He turned back to Kuroo, gently kissing the side of his jaw, “At least someone’s respectful.” A rush of red swept across his face. Tadashi raised his glass to Kuroo, eyeing him knowingly.

“Alright alright, I’m ready let’s go.” Tsukishima said, grabbing his glass and tossing it back quickly.

He dragged Kuroo onto the dancefloor, Tadashi and Hitoka trailing behind them.

Kuroo took the lead, him and Tsukishima moving in sync. Kuroo thought they probably looked funny out there, two lanky men dancing like their lives depended on it. But he didn’t have a care in the world. Tadashi and Hitoka both jumped in with them. Tadashi spinning and dipping Tsukishima dramatically, Kuroo lifted Hitoka in the air, her skirt flouncing, a squeal of excitement coming out of her.

_…Dance with me, baby, dance with me, baby let’s get lost right here…_

It wasn’t hot, it didn’t need to be. They were friends, and Kuroo felt at home among them.

_…Dance with me baby, dance with me babe under the chandelier…_

They finally left around 01:30, everyone drunk and exhausted. Kuroo and Tsukishima walked back to his flat, tumbling through the door and finding comfort on the rug in front of the empty hearth. They lied there for a moment, Kuroo thinking he should probably drag them both to bed, but too tired to move.

He rolled to his side, admiring Tsukishima’s radiant profile that was gazing up at the ceiling, eyes shut.

“Kei,” he wasn’t sure if he was listening, “why do you like me?”

He wasn’t completely sure why he said it. Every day that passed, every night of dancing, every morning of coffee, he liked Tsukishima more and more, and with that he second guessed himself, wondering how someone like him could care so much about someone like him.

Tsukishima’s eyes opened, his head rolling to the side to lock glassy eyes with Kuroo, “I’m sorry what?”

He swallowed, hesitating for a moment, “I mean, I’m just wondering, why you like me? I feel like I’m just broken pieces, ya know, and you’re- you’re just” He couldn’t put his thoughts into words, his words were stuck in his throat.

Kei looked suspicious, although, not concerned in the slightest. “I’m what exactly?”

Kuroo looked back up to the ceiling, “You’re whole _._ ” He sighed.

“My hole?” he chuckled at himself.

Kuroo smiled, “No, you’re _whole_.” Gesturing with his hands, “You’re like divine… You’re so confident and interesting, and I… and I’m just wondering why you like _me_ , I guess.” He folded his hands across his chest.

Tsukishima sat up on one of his elbows, looking at him like he was an idiot. “What _are_ you talking about?”

“huh?”

“You are _whole_ Tetsurou, you always have been whole.” He smiled, still with anger sitting somewhere behind his eyes, putting a hand on top of Kuroo’s folded ones. 

“I get it, I know I didn’t know you before. But that doesn’t matter… Everything you are now is a sum of what you’ve been. _Who_ you’ve been. That person you were before will always be a part of you that you carry,” his face softened.

“You’re clever and charming. You’re passionate about so many things. You care immensely about helping others and constantly give so much of yourself. We _all_ have cracks, but _you_ aren’t… ‘ _broken_ ’.” Tsukishima laid down beside him, now clutching Kuroo’s hand to his chest. 

“That’s probably why you think you’re in pieces… because you’re giving yourself to everyone all the time. We all have pieces of you, yes, we all _are_ pieces of you. But… they belong to you.” He paused, a content sigh leaving his chest that Kuroo could feel in his hand.

“That’s who you are, and I love that.”

Tsukishima’s eyes were shut, smiling at the ceiling. Kuroo could feel his throat tighten as his heart rate sped up. _I don’t deserve this._

He took breaths carefully, methodically. Quietly tears streamed down his face. He was sure Kei could hear his shaky breathing and gentle sniffles, but he said nothing. Tsukishima laid there silently, stroking the top of Kuroo’s hand with his thumb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catch me at the clubs in June jamming to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KJtcZ803W4


	13. O

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song of the chapter:  
> O - Coldplay  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gA3H3clEqk

“Good morning sunshine, someone must’ve been up late huh?”

A small yawn seeped out, “ _Yuaahhh_ , something like that.” Spring was nearly over, and the warmth of the sun had begun to peak out earlier each foggy London morning. Kuroo sipped his coffee, holding his phone to his ear. “So how are things? Haven’t had a chance to call you in a while.”

Yaku sighed on the line, “The air conditioning at work went out so that’s been a bummer but other than that everything has been fine.”

“Is that really the most interesting thing you’ve got going on in your life right now?” Kuroo chuckled. Their conversations were always casual. They texted often he supposed there wasn’t too much he didn’t hear about but being able to hear his friends voice was always nice.

“Well, _someone_ is insisting on throwing me a birthday party and is making a huge fuss about it already. Trying to coordinate getting everyone there.” He said nonchalantly.

“Oh hoho, so Rasputin is a good party planner huh?” Kuroo jeered.

“I swear to God Kuroo-“

“Ya, ya, sorry, couldn’t resist. Anyway, how is Lev?” He leaned against the balcony railing, feeling the coolness of the metal bars through his t-shirt. Through the patio doors he could see Tsukishima in kitchen, prepping breakfast for the two of them.

Reluctantly Yaku responded, “Oh he’s fine. I just really don’t think it’s necessary to throw some big party.”

“Hey can we come?” Kuroo asked. He surprised himself as well as Yaku with that one.

“Uhm, uh, yeah?!” Yaku finally had some enthusiasm in his voice.

“Well I don’t know if like, we _actually_ can. But it might be fun if we could.” Kuroo didn’t want to get his hope up, or Yaku’s. 

“If you two could, that would be great. I’m sure everyone would love to see you.”

Kuroo smiled as Tsukishima leaned his head through the doorway mouthing ‘ _foods ready’_. “Yeah man, I’ll see what I can do ok?”

They finished their conversation with a couple _I’ll see you soon’s_ and _You’re an idiot’s_ and Kuroo headed inside for a breakfast of strawberry pancakes.

Kuroo waltzed into the kitchen, setting his mug on the counter and kissing Tsukishima’s cheek. “Looks good,” he said, eyeing the platter of pancakes and sliced fruit.

“Sit down, I’m nearly done.” Tsukishima replied, rinsing his knife off in the sink. Kuroo took a seat and shortly Tsukishima brought over a bowl of strawberries along with the plate full of pancakes.

Kuroo could get used to mornings like this. Everything so peaceful and easy. They had eventually made their way off the rug in the living room to the bedroom last night. They had both fallen asleep briefly before Kuroo woke up and carried Tsukishima to bed with him.

He woke up that morning to Tsukishima kissing his forehead whilst climbing out of bed to make coffee for them.

“ _mmmm_ don’t go, 5 minutes,” he had said, pulling Tsukishima’s wrist back into the bed.

“I’ll be back in 5 ok? We can drink coffee in bed.” He replied giving Kuroo’s hand a squeeze.

Then Kuroo remembered he was supposed to call Yaku and ended up getting up anyway. But it was nonetheless the perfect morning in his book.

Tsukishima pointed his fork lazily towards him, “So, how was the call? Everyone good back home?”

“Oh yeah! Yaku sounds good.” Kuroo scooped more strawberries on top of his mangled pile of pancakes, “Oh and his boyfriend is planning some big birthday party for him in August.” He added as an afterthought. ( _It was not an afterthought.)_

Tsukishima just raised an eyebrow at him, the corners of his mouth ever so slightly upturned.

Between bites of food Kuroo stated, “I was thinking maybe it would be a fun excuse to go over there.” He kept looking at his food.

“Are you inviting me to go to Japan?” he remarked, now leaning back in his chair smugly.

Kuroo looked up at him, his teeth slightly clenched. Was it too soon? Does time even matter? Is August too far out to plan something like that?

“Because if you are, it sounds like fun.” Tsukishima smiled at him. That soft understanding smile, it always softened Kuroo.

“Well, u-uh, yeah I just thought maybe if you wanted to-“

Tsukishima cut him off, “Yeah, I’d love to.” Tsukishima shoved another bite of pancakes in his mouth while Kuroo sat there somewhat surprised.

Why was he always so full doubt? Maybe it was just hard to believe that someone could really want to do something like this with him. Hard to believe that someone really cared about him and wasn’t concerned with anything else.

Hazy memories of the night before came to his mind.

_That’s who you are, and I love that._

Did Tsukishima really say that to him?

Kuroo’s thoughts were brought back to reality when Tsukishima began speaking again,

“So, we’ll go to Japan in August but before that let’s take a trip here? Next month some weekend let’s go out to the coast. I want you to see it.” Tsukishima was getting up from the table, clearing their plates.

“That would be lovely moonshine.” He thanked him for clearing their plates and joined him by the sink to wash up.

\--

**_July_ **

Kuroo spent his days running through the city, making lunch for him and Tsukishima to eat on the steps of the museum, and packing his laptop around to various parks to work on his dissertation. A part of him felt guilty for not working, but the other part of him said that he deserved a real break.

After Tsukishima got off at the museum on Friday, they were catching the train out of town to spend the weekend galivanting around the Jurassic Coast.

Bags in hand, the two of them boarded the train and settled into a booth.

“I’m sure the coast here isn’t like the ones in Japan,” Tsukishima was leaning on Kuroo’s shoulder while he looked out the window as they chugged along. “But this one is pretty cool I think.”

Kuroo put his hand over the one sitting on his thigh, tracing the cool metal rings with his fingertips.

“Lots of our coastline is concrete actually. Though there are a lot of stunning beaches, I’m sure this one will be just as good.” He turned his head down, burying his nose in Tsukishima’s hair, and pressing his lips to the top of his head.

After a few hours on the train they checked in to their lodging late, grabbing food while they were on the train.

Tsukishima had booked them a room at an inn in the village near the beach. It was as quintessentially English as Kuroo could imagine, thatched roofs, cobblestone streets, a castle looming in the distance. It was magical, so much different than being in the city- a little fairytale just for them.

Somehow here, so far from everything, he felt right. Every so often he could feel it. An emotion that Kuroo could only describe as the _innate sense of belonging_ , and it just so happened to occur here in England. Everything was different and out of place, but right where it belongs, all at once.

Early the next morning they got up to go explore.

Throughout the day they visited 5 different fossil museums. Kuroo indulged Tsukishima even though he swore they had seen the exact same things in each place. He adored the passion that Tsukishima had. Every detail he enthused about shamelessly. He scoffed at the young curator who didn’t know the difference between _perisphinictes tiziani_ and _trophites subbullatus._

“ _They’re not even from the same period_ …” he had whispered to Kuroo, snickering behind the poor curators back. “ _Oh, let the poor kid be”_ Kuroo cooed, guiding them away.

Kuroo was interested in it all, yes. But he found the most joy in seeing the passion his boyfriend had. People are passionate about _things_ all the time. Having a passion for _knowledge_ is much rarer. For most of his life, Kuroo had always thought of himself as smart and witty but Tsukishima was one of the few people who could give him a run for his money.

As the day rolled on, they headed to the final place Tsukishima wanted to show him. They caught a cab that took them through a rolling field and up a hill. Long blades of grass blew in the wind as they walked up a pathway.

Over the crest of the hill the sun was starting to set. Tsukishima holding Kuroo’s hand walking them up the hill looked so stunning in the light. His hair had gotten longer, curls dancing around the base of his neck. He held one hand to his face to hold his bangs out of his eyes in the breeze.

“Come on hurry, we can’t miss it.” He pleaded turning back to Kuroo, eyes squinted in the waning sun, and pulling him along.

They made it to the top in time to see the most breathtaking sunset either of them had ever seen. The ocean below them crashed into pillars of white chalk emerging from the sea. Tsukishima beamed at him, he was simply in awe of the nature around them.

“It’s- it’s amazing.” Kuroo spit out. He spotted a flock of birds flying off together in the distance, then looked back at Tsukishima. “You’re amazing.”

He blushed instantly, a shy smile on his ever-confident face. Kuroo took a deep breath, considering the smell of the sea, the brush of the grass around his ankles. They stood quietly, hand in hand, savoring the remaining minutes of the sunset.

His head turned to face Tsukishima. The person who had brought him here and shown him so much. Who, even in a short period of time had reminded him that he is worthy of such affection.

“I love you.” Kuroo said his voice shaking with the reality of his words.

His eyes were wide, a jeweled hand brought to barely cover his mouth. Kuroo just smiled at him. He did love him. It was a simple love, effortless. He had since stopped worrying about who he was or who he needed to be. He just _was_. And in that space where he existed now, he loved Tsukishima.

He loved Tsukishima exactly how he was in this moment, all of these moments. The prospect of a changing future wasn’t even in the forefront of his mind. He didn’t love Tsukishima for his potential, or _their_ potential. He loved everything that he was now, whether that ever changed to anything else or not.

Kuroo dropped his gaze and looked back at the ocean, gripping Tsukishima’s hand tightly in his.

Tsukishima stepped closer, wrapping his free hand around Kuroo’s elbow and leaning into him.

“I love you too you know.” He said softly, a slight hitch in his voice.

And for the first time, Kuroo felt confident in what he said back,

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to imagine the stunning view at the end of this chapter look no further than Old Harry Rocks!   
> https://www.instagram.com/p/CJ4EDVcDJ1J/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link


	14. I'm In Love Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song of the chapter:  
> I'm In Love Without You - FINNEAS  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-J8waq0unI

**_August_ **

Time was going by quickly, warm blissful days blending into one another. It was hard for Kuroo to believe that it had almost been a year since he moved to England. So much had changed, even on the outside he thought he looked different. He had bulked up a bit from the cuisine change but was still fit. His skin bronzed from the summer sun, and tight around lean muscle. His hair was long and wild, usually haphazardly tied back most days. Unless Tsukishima tied it for him; he had a way of making everything stay in an elegant knot.

And yet, had he really _changed_? No, he hadn’t changed, he just _became._ Now he was finding joy in so much. Mornings he woke up in his own bed he was grateful for the “good morning” texts he got from Tsukishima. Though the mornings with Tsukishima were admittedly better, he still enjoyed those mornings alone. It reminded him how wonderful the ones that weren’t are.

Being happy isn’t a choice Kuroo had come to figure out. There were many times in his life that no matter how hard he tried, he wasn’t happy and couldn’t chose to be. But gratitude can be a choice. You can wake up and choose gratitude every day. Being here, being with Tsukishima, the _mundane_ became _surprise_. Everything becoming something special and something to be grateful for.

And now, here they were, sitting together waiting to board their flight to Japan. It had been more than half a year since he had been back and he was excited to see his old friends and family, but even more so for Tsukishima to see where he was from.

“9 hours, right? Ahead?” Tsukishima asked him, while adjusting his watch.

“Yeah, try to sleep as much as you can, but it’ll be rough I’m sure. We have a couple nights before the party to adjust luckily.” He replied, squeezing Tsukishima’s shoulder. He leaned into him, asking for more, and Kuroo obliged, now digging his thumb into the tight muscle.

Tsukishima’s head rolled back, his round amber eyes looking curiously up at him, “You sure it’s not weird for us to be staying with your parents?”

“Oh they’re cool don’t worry about it.” He said now running his hand through Tsukishima’s hair.

“Hmm” he purred, closing his eyes. “Are you nervous for me to meet your friends?”

Honestly, he hadn’t considered being nervous. Everywhere he went Tsukishima managed to get along with people, he was just _cool_ , with the small exception of Oikawa (though Kuroo was sure they held each other in high regard). “Are _you_ nervous to meet my friends, love?”

“Not really, I don’t get nervous anymore I think.” He fiddled with Kuroo’s fingers. They’re hands were nearly the same size though proportionally different. Kuroo had large palms, strong rough fingers extending from them. Tsukishima in contrast had narrow palms, pale even in the summer sun, delicate long fingers decorated with the usual multitude of rings. Together they linked perfectly.

“Anymore? You don’t strike me as someone who ever gets nervous.”

“Exactly why I said anymore,” he giggled softly, he was sleepy already. “I’ve always been good at hiding it, but I don’t have to anymore because it’s gone. Well not _everything_ of course, but a lot better.”

To Kuroo, Tsukishima exuded confidence and it had always astounded him. He realized now that people like that are created through things that happen to them, and whatever may have happened in each of their lives, he was grateful they were brought together this time.

“Well, I’m really excited for you to meet everyone. I’m sure they’ll love you, because I do.”

Tsukishima hummed happily in response. They sat there for a bit longer before their flight boarded. Then they made their way on to the plane and settled in for the long flight.

\--

They both managed to sleep well on the flight, but naturally were still tired. Usually Kuroo would wake up throughout the flight with various aches and pains but he attributed his good fortune to Tsukishima’s comfy shoulder.

This time Kuroo’s mom came to get them from the airport. She was so overjoyed to meet Tsukishima she completely bypassed Kuroo when they approached the car.

In broken English she sobbed, “Oh you must be Kei! Hello welcome to Japan! It’s so great to meet you!” Tsukishima accepted her hug and took her hands in his.

“Kuroo-san, thank you for having me. I’m pleased to meet you as well, and I can speak a bit of Japanese by the way.”

His mother grinned happily, throwing Kuroo a cheeky glance over her shoulder. He had a feeling she would be overjoyed with him.

As they loaded their bags into the car Tsukishima whispered to him, “Moms love me.” He winked.

Kuroo rolled his eyes, he was sure to win over his father as well. Kuroo’s dad was a history buff, and without having to try, Tsukishima was well prepared. They rode home, Kuroo opting to have Tsukishima sit in the front with his mother so she could narrate the sights to him.

Upon arriving at the Kuroo residence, they were greeted with obnoxious decorations consisting of Union Jack flags and terrifying depictions of the Queen. Kuroo was completely embarrassed but Tsukishima found it hilarious and endearing.

His father and Tsukishima naturally hit up a conversation while Kuroo brought their bags inside and up to his room.

“You two must be exhausted, go ahead and lay down for awhile or freshen up if you’d like before dinner.” His mother implored to them.

The two of them at least needed to change out of their travel clothes but naturally once they were comfortably in clean shorts, they both laid down and promptly fell asleep. Kuroo was lucky he had always had a large bed.

“ _nnnnn_ _Tetsu_ ”

“ _mmwhat_ ” he mumbled, face down into a pillow.

“ _Clocksays…mmnineteen_.” Tsukishima murmured, urging himself to sit up. “Hungry.” He added, tugging at Kuroo’s hair.

Kuroo willed himself off his bed and pulled a t-shirt on. He felt groggy and awful but hoped that some food would help.

Arriving in the kitchen Kuroo immediately brought his hand over his eyes, “Mom, hotpot really? It’s 25 degrees.”

“I know honey, but Kei’s got to have some while you two are here! I couldn’t resist.” She said dancing around the kitchen, placing various bowls and plates on the table.

“Thank you, it looks delicious.” Tsukishima smiled at her.

“ _Kiss ass_.” Kuroo joked, pinching Tsukishima’s side. He chuckled.

“ _Duh._ ”

Kuroo always thought he was good with people’s parents, but watching Tsukishima interact with his own, he didn’t think he would ever stand a chance. They would probably want to adopt him and disown Kuroo before they flew back to Japan.

They chatted extensively about England and got caught up in museum talk for what felt like forever. The table long cleared, they finally got up to go to bed. Bidding goodnight to Kuroo’s parents, the two of them went back to his room ignoring the need to brush their teeth and fell right back into his bed.

Kuroo woke up feeling well rested, although when he opened his eyes the room was still dark… He blinked a few times trying to adjust.

“You awake too?” Tsukishima said, rolling over to look at him. His voice was soft and scratchy, the way it always was in the morning.

Kuroo slid an arm under him and pulled him close to his chest. “Naturally.” He chuckled quietly.

The clock on his wall read 04:00. Of _course_ they were both awake. They opted to lay there and cuddle silently until the sun started to come up.

They spent the next couple days adventuring. Spending one day in Tokyo and the next driving out to the countryside. He showed Tsukishima his old high school and university, and the lake where his family used to go camping when he was younger. They of course also took some time to stop at Japan’s own National Museum of Nature and Science.

\--

**_August 8_ **

When the evening of Yaku’s birthday came along they felt nearly cleared of their jet lag. The two of them had picked up an expensive bottle of sake for him at a shop they stopped at while traveling.

“This is like, a casual party, right?” Tsukishima said turning to him, a bemused expression on his face.

They were both wearing simple shorts and t-shirts. Even though it was the evening it was still very warm and Kuroo had no doubt it would be warm inside Lev’s home too. “Casual might even be an overstatement…” he said pulling on his socks. “Hopefully it’s not too out of control. The Haiba’s tend to have a large store of alcohol so people love having parties at their house.”

Kuroo thought back to school, every once in awhile he would’ve been invited to one of these parties, but he never went. He just heard about the aftermath from his friends the next day. Eventually people stopped inviting him and Kenma to things, knowing they never wanted to come anyway.

“Sounds like a blast,” Tsukishima said in earnest. “Do behave yourself, ok?” he teased Kuroo.

Kuroo wrapped his arms around Tsukishima’s waist from behind, kissing his neck. “Oh moonshine, all you need to worry about is me keeping my hands off of you~”

“Oh Tetsurou don’t tempt me,” he laughed, then turned to tickle Kuroo’s side.

He let out a playful scream and ran away. Tsukishima often exploited how ridiculously ticklish he was. There were moments the two of them were helplessly in love, and other moments where they felt like best friends, all of the moments blurring together.

“Have a fun night you two!” Kuroo’s mom shouted as they left. They walked to the Haiba household and realized there were far more people than they expected.

“Yaku wasn’t kidding when he said Lev was planning a big party...” Kuroo said noticing cars lined up in front of their house.

“Is this a special birthday for some reason?” Tsukishima asked.

“Not that I know of, I think it’s just the first time Yaku has allowed Lev to actually plan him a party.” He shrugged. “They’ve had a weird secretive off-and-on things for years, but finally made it official last summer.”

Kai greeted them at the door. The sun was nearly down, and they could see lights flashing inside the house behind him.

“Good to see you man!” Kai exclaimed upon seeing him, pulling him in for a tight hug. “You must be Tsukishima! Welcome to Japan!” Kai shook his hand vigorously pulling them both inside. “There’s food and drinks in the kitchen, help yourself to whatever you see. I think Yaku is out back right now.”

The Haiba’s had a large lavish house. There were people everywhere that he was sure he knew, but he didn’t particularly care to do a plethora of introductions right now, so they went straight out to the back garden to meet the birthday boy.

“YAKKUN~” Kuroo shouted lifting Yaku up in his arms.

“Put me down! You bastard!” He squirmed.

“Happy birthday man!” he cheered putting him down. Kuroo grabbed Tsukishima’s hand pulling him beside them. “This-“

Tsukishima cut him off, “Tsukishima Kei, happy birthday Yaku-san,” holding out the bottle of sake to him.

Yaku laughed, giving Kuroo an amused glance. “Hah! I like him! Good to meet you Tsukishima.”

They exchanged hellos and _how-is-England’s_ then Kuroo and Tsukishima headed inside to get some drinks. Kai and Yaku periodically encouraged both of them to take shots, wanting to “ _see how the English boy holds his liquor”_. Which – really isn’t a good idea, Tsukishima is a surprisingly good drinker, always faring better than Kuroo, who’s tolerance was shit.

As the night stretched on, they found themselves comfortably buzzed and dancing away in the middle of the living room.

_…I got you, moonlight, you’re my, starlight…_

Sloppy dancing turned to sloppy kissing. Tsukishima laughed, both hands around the back of Kuroo’s neck while he planted wet kisses down Tsukishima’s neck.

_…I need you all night, come on dance with me…_

They grinded on each other without a care in the world, too drunk and too in love to be bothered.

The song ended and they stood there breathless, surrounded by friends, but somehow the only ones in the room.

“I’m going to run to the bathroom, I’ll be back.” Tsukishima panted, kissing Kuroo’s jaw swiftly before walking away.

Kuroo felt a bit awkward, now standing there alone, and decided to look for Yaku. He spotted the back of Lev’s head from across the room and walked towards them.

“Oi Lev! Where-“

_Oh. -_

_Well, this was unexpected._

There, beside Lev, stood an unfamiliar face. He was sun kissed and tanned, black hair all tied back in two neat plaits, just a touch of blonde still at the ends.

It was Kenma but… he looked completely different. A pang of guilt went straight through Kuroo’s chest. Nothing could’ve sobered him faster than that sight. He about-turned and walked away promptly, finding an empty spot of wall to lean against.

He never considered that Kenma would come to this party, it wasn’t like he wasn’t friends with everyone, he just was never at parties. Kuroo’s mind was running a too fast, his heart keeping the pace, pounding in his chest.

He felt _bad_. Bad that Kenma had probably seen him and Tsukishima dancing and partying together. He would never intentionally throw his new relationship in his face; he had no reason to. Kuroo took deep breaths, rolling his head back against the wall.

_I wonder if he knew I’d be here? Does he know about Tsukishima?_ It had been more than a year since he had seen him, and it seemed that while everything had changed for him, everything had changed for Kenma as well. He wasn’t upset that Kenma was here… he just really didn’t want to be _that_ guy and seem like an ass with his blatant PDA.

Tsukishima returned from the bathroom and found Kuroo.

“Hey, you alright?” he inquired.

Kuroo took a deep breath, he didn’t want to say anything that would be cause of concern to Tsukishima. “Uh,” he hesitated, “Kenma’s here.” He took Tsukishima’s hand, twiddling with his rings. “I just saw him and kind of panicked. Uh- what I mean is- I’m sure he saw us and I feel like shit…”

Tsukishima put a hand under Kuroo’s chin, lifting his gaze to match his own, “You are always so worried about others, aren’t you?” He was smiling.

Kuroo’s anxious expression softened, “hah, I guess you’re right.”

Tsukishima gently kissed Kuroo’s cheek, “As usual.”

Kuroo laughed, Tsukishima knew how to ground him.

“I get it, but you really shouldn’t worry. It’s his mistake being here if this is something he wouldn’t want to see.” His eyes were warm and caring, slightly glazed from the alcohol. His gazed moved past Kuroo and across the room. “But, you should assume he’s fine you know.”

Tsukishima pointed past Kuroo’s shoulder to where Kenma was now sitting on a couch, the hand of a stranger holding his and talking animatedly.

Kenma looked over to them, noticing Tsukishima first before Kuroo locked eyes with him for a moment, the two of them sharing unspoken words. Kenma smiled and raised the cup in his hand to Kuroo, nodding.

_Glad you’re well._

Kuroo’s shocked expression faded into a smile, his heartbeat returning to normal, he nodded back.

_You too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love these boys oh so so much.
> 
> Another song I am DYING to dance to as soon as things reopen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHuBW3qKm9g


	15. New House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song of the chapter:  
> New House - Rex Orange County  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9ibC7XZJuM

**_September_ **

Returning to Japan had solidified two things in Kuroo’s mind. One, was that the summers of England were significantly more pleasant than those in Japan ( _He never wanted to sit in that humidity again_ ). The other being that belonging can be found anywhere. Kenma attributed to that as much as Kuroo.

Seeing him that night reminded him that Kenma is as much of his own person as Kuroo is. All along it had been hard to separate their identities in his head. Somewhere down the line he realized who he was, yet still had an idea of Kenma in his head that was attached to him. But Kenma is not a simplified version of himself; he is complex and dynamic and exists now in a place without him. It was comforting to see him, and that encounter had given him closure that he didn’t know he needed.

The days were already cooling down in England as the season came to a close, and gentle drizzles began to fill Kuroo’s morning runs. School was starting again in a matter of weeks and he was doing his best to enjoy his free time while it lasted.

There was a massive park near the school where Bokuto and him had met up for lunch that day. The flowers from early summer had long died but the trees were still bright and green and full of life.

“You’re sure about this aren’t you?” Kuroo asked, sitting up on his elbows in the grass.

Bokuto beamed up at the sky, absorbing the sun into his cheeks. “Yeah, definitely.” He turned to look down at Kuroo, “you’ll help right?”

“Hah, of course man. Whatever you need just let me know.” He was so happy for his friends. Bokuto had revealed his plan to propose to Akaashi and had a whole scheme that would require his friends’ assistance.

There was a room in one of the buildings in the city that he had rented with a stunning view of the whole of London. Oikawa was going to be sneakily following them a taking pictures throughout the day while Kuroo, Iwaizumi, and Tsukishima were to decorate the place where their night would end.

“Do you think he’ll say yes?” Bokuto asked Kuroo genuinely, his eyes wide and brow furrowed.

Kuroo couldn’t help but laugh at him, “Dude I know you’re not stupid. Have you seen the way he looks at you? Better yet, have you ever seen how _you_ look at _him_?” _That look._

Bokuto blushed slightly and shook his head, grinning up at the sky again. “I suppose you’re right.”

\--

Oikawa came bursting into the room, camera around his neck and a backpack slung over one shoulder, “They’re coming! They’re coming! Get in position!!”

All four of them found various spots hidden through the room, just out of view of where Bokuto and Akaashi would walk in. Oikawa had provided them with a variety of photos of the two of them which they had strung up on the walls. Kuroo and Tsukishima had got dozens of white roses and had them arranged around the room in various vases. And lastly, Iwaizumi had lit candles all around the room, somehow hanging some from the ceiling.

It was dimly lit and warm, dust sparkling in the beams of light pouring in through the windows. The whole atmosphere was magical and full of love. Not even Iwaizumi thought it was cheesy; they were all very proud of their work. The sun was going down and the sky was filled with pink clouds juxtaposed with the glimmering city skyline.

Kuroo and Tsukishima were crouched behind what appeared to be a bar. Kuroo took deep breaths trying to keep his breathing quiet, though every exhale shook in his chest. He held Tsukishima’s hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Tsukishima turned his head to look at Kuroo. He had a soft grin on his face, gently hugging Kuroo’s hand in response. Kuroo couldn’t wait for the day when he would be doing something like this for Tsukishima. Images of stars and lights were quickly swept from his mind as footsteps were approaching.

They heard the door creak open, the two were laughing as they stepped through the threshold, but their voices quickly dropped as they looked around them. The only sounds they could hear was the quiet shutter of Oikawa’s camera, though Kuroo was sure Akaashi didn’t even notice.

“Kou-“he said, trembling, as Bokuto pulled him over towards the set up by the windows.

“Keiji, I- uh” Bokuto’s voice was shaky and loud. “Well, aha, this is kind of obvious isn’t it.” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, his free hand holding Akaashi’s.

Akaashi made no sounds, his bottom lip quivering as his eyes welled up behind his glasses.

Bokuto shook his head slightly trying to get a grip, “Keiji, I love a lot of things. But everything I’ve loved in my life; I’ve loved with you.” His voice was gradually becoming stronger, while tears started to fall slowly down both of their faces.

“And I know that with every day that comes in my life, it will come with you, and everything that I’m going to love, I’m going to love with you. There’s not a day that I want to be anything but yours.” Bokuto paused, taking a deep breath and rummaging into his jacket pocket.

Akaashi’s expression somehow amplified upon seeing an emerald box pulled out and held in front of him.

Kuroo spared a glance for Tsukishima, his eyes sparkled and swelled. If Kuroo hadn’t been crying already that would’ve done it. Even Iwaizumi had been steadily wiping his face with his sleeve.

“Keiji,” he started, taking a step back to kneel. “Will you love with me for the rest of our lives?” He presented the box, cracking it open to reveal a simple but thick golden ring. A large crooked smile shown brightly across his face as he gazed expectantly up at Akaashi.

Akaashi nearly collapsed, crumbling to his knees in front of Bokuto. “Of course, Kou,” through choked sobs, “I wouldn’t want to love with anyone else.” he threw himself around Bokuto, sobbing into his shoulder. “I love you so much.” Bokuto’s smile could light the world in that moment. 

The four of them crept out from their hidden spots in the room, bringing about more sobs from Akaashi and congratulations all around.

“Congratulations you two.” Kuroo said, pulling them both into a hug. “I’m so happy for you. And uh, thanks for being my first friends here ya know?”

Bokuto and Akaashi both squeezed Kuroo harder. “Well we love you man. I couldn’t have done this without you.” Bokuto said, prompting more tears to fall from Kuroo’s eyes.

After things have died down some, Oikawa approached Kuroo holding what looked like a card.

“When I was printing all the photos for this, I came across this and thought you would like to have it.” He winked obnoxiously and handed it to him.

When he opened up the card, his heart stopped for a moment before processing what he saw.

On the left side there was a photo of Tsukishima, looking away at something. And on the right, a separate photo of Kuroo looking not quite straight ahead. Putting the pieces together he realized that the photos were taken of them the first day he visited the museum.

_That look._

He could see it for himself. He had it.

Tsukishima had it.

They both had it written all over their faces. Oikawa must’ve snapped a picture of Tsukishima looking at him before he had walked over to them, and Kuroo remembered the moment exactly when he had spotted Tsukishima standing beside Oikawa.

He hadn’t thought about it for a while, but now many pictures replayed in his head, a montage of moments with Tsukishima, pure and perfect and in love with _him_. He thought about that day in the museum, in his office, the night outside in the rain.

Sometimes when you stop searching for something, that’s just when you find it. He had stepped out into the openness of possibility, and let the world give a gift to him, instead of hunting it down and fighting for it.

“I remember that day,” Tsukishima said softly leaning over Kuroo’s shoulder. “He showed me those pictures actually, a few days before you came back.”

Kuroo turned around to him and cupped Tsukishima’s face with both his hands, the card dangling precariously between a couple fingers. “I love you.”

“I know,” Tsukishima smiled and kissed him. “I love you too.”

“ _Sigh,_ young love.” Kuroo heard Oikawa teasing somewhere near them.

“You really nailed it with those two.” Iwaizumi responded.

“Oh of course love, I always know~”

“Huh?” Kuroo said turning around.

Oikawa just smiled and shook his head.

\--

They left that night to their respective homes after some celebratory drinks and snacks.

“Do you want something to drink?” Tsukishima asked him. They were piled on the couch in Tsukishima’s flat, some random show playing in the background. Kuroo was laid sideways against the armrest, Tsukishima settled on his chest, their legs tangled together.

“Sure, just get me whatever you’re getting.” Kuroo responded, shifting so Tsukishima could get up.   
“Well I was going to get water, so, water?” he smiled, sliding his glasses back on before leaving for the kitchen.

“Yeah that’s fine, thank you.”

Tsukishima returned with a glass for each of them, “Hey when is your lease up?” he said, handing Kuroo his cup and sitting down beside him.

“Huh? Oh um,” he thought for a moment, “I think at the end of this month. Thanks for reminding me.”

“Well you’re here all the time anyway, so why not move in when it ends?” his eyes were tired in the pale light of a lamp across the room, cheeks slightly pink.

Kuroo laughed, grabbing Tsukishima’s face and peppering it with small kisses. He pressed their foreheads together, “I’m glad you asked because I didn’t want to have to figure out a way to ask if I could move in.”

“Hehe, you’re a dork. Always ask me anything.” He pressed his lips to the tip of Kuroo’s nose.

Kuroo set his glass down on the side table, “Alright, strip.”

“Tetsu, that’s not a question.” Tsukishima’s expression was flat.

“Oh, ok sorry,” Kuroo said, taking his glass from him and setting down, “would you please strip?” he pulled Tsukishima onto his lap, nuzzling into his neck.

“Only because you asked so nicely~”

\--

**_One Year Later_ **

Kuroo sat in his office, pen tapping on the desk. He glanced up at the clock, _16:46_ , nearly time to leave. It was hot outside, and hot in his office – the Brits weren’t fond of air conditioning - and he couldn’t wait to get off work and soak up the remaining summer sun.

Graduation had been in May and since then Kuroo had taken up a job with _Public Health England_ as an _Information Analyst_. It paid well and he had his foot in the door with the nation’s public health organization.

Tsukishima was still working at the museum, and gradually was taking on more responsibilities while the head of his exhibit was easing into retirement.

Shortly after graduation they had attended a beautiful spring wedding for Bokuto and Akaashi. Wherein during the reception, Akaashi and Bokuto – in lieu of throwing - handed their bouquets to Oikawa, and Iwaizumi proposed. It was a stunning sappy day filled with flowers and love and Kuroo and Tsukishima stayed on the dancefloor longer than anyone else.

Everything in their lives felt as though it was coming together. It wasn’t about things falling into place, it was just fitting into the place you’re in even better.

Kuroo went home as soon as work ended and spent the evening sitting on the balcony with Tsukishima.

The sun was still high in the sky and shining brightly. They both sat on the ground shirtless, leaning their backs on the rail.

“What do you think about this one?” He said handing Tsukishima his phone.

Swiping for a bit, Tsukishima looked deep in thought before speaking. “It’s nice, but there isn’t a garden. Find one with a garden.” He smiled and handed it back.

Kuroo changed the filter on his app to _only show gardens_ and scrolled for a bit.

“Oh! This one. This is perfect.” He gave his phone to Tsukishima again.

He had found a flat to rent that had two bedrooms and a large private garden that was also central to their respective workplaces. They had discussed wanting a larger place so they could have a proper office set up and a garden for a dog.

“Oooo, that one _is_ nice.” Tsukishima examined the photos of the listing with care. “Might have to repaint though, you could put the couch there, and the desk would fit in that room nicely…” he rambled on.

Kuroo was lost in thought just listening to Tsukishima talk when he stopped suddenly.

“Why don’t we get married?” He asked, straight faced.

Kuroo’s entire body turned red, “Eh, w- what?” complete shock on his face.

Tsukishima looked smug, the corners of his mouth just perked up while laughing at Kuroo. “You heard me. Let’s get married. Don’t you want to?”

Kuroo started sputtering words before he could think, “Well, I just, I had this whole-, and ya know, I thought I’d do this thing, and Bo suggested, and-“ his hands gestured wildly while his eyes were stuck staring at a stop on the ground.

“Ok you have to stop.” Tsukishima pressed his hand over Kuroo’s mouth. Kuroo’s attention snapped back to him. “I’ll wait, but, see if you can top everyone else’s proposals.” He laughed, squeezing Kuroo’s cheeks and planting a soft kiss on his lips.

Kuroo shook his head, Tsukishima was always able to make him crumble.

“Oh, I almost forgot, we got a letter in the mail today.” Tsukishima got up, walking to grab a parcel sitting on the counter. He came back and handed it to Kuroo. “Return address is Japan,” he said sitting back down beside him.

He took the letter, it was in a silver envelope with a wax seal, they glanced at each other before opening, they assumed what it was.

He carefully opened it and pulled out an ornate red card wrapped in a sort of lace cut in the shape of snowflakes.

_Together with their families, Yaku Morisuke & Haiba Lev, Request the honor of your presence at their wedding. Saturday December 12. _

“Christmas in Japan this year then?” Tsukishima smiled at him, the setting sun shining on his face.

Kuroo ran his thumb down Tsukishima’s jaw. “Yeah, Christmas in Japan. Sounds good.” He pulled him close, gently brushing their lips together and inhaling his scent.

Clouds shifted in the sky above then, and a warm drizzle started to come down. Kuroo got up to take the invitation inside before it got wet in the rain, while Tsukishima just sat there, head lolled back, and letting it come down around him.

Kuroo went back out to the balcony and sat beside him. They both laughed at the absurdity of what they were doing, but it became habit. Whenever they had the chance, they would just let the rain cascade down on them, accepting it for what it brought.

\--

The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHhhh it's the end. Couple things to say.  
> One thank you so much to anyone who has taken the time to read and enjoy this. I hope somewhere along the story you've felt something. I am not a writer and know nothing about creative writing spare that one singular class I was forced to take in my undergrad.   
> Leading into my second thing. This story is /loosely/ based on a very real story and became very therapeutic for me to write. Some of the conversations and events that happened really happened and I've shaped this story around them with these characters in mind.   
> I am planning a second piece in this series (I'm sure you can guess the star of that one) but it will probably be a while before it get's written due to graduate school nonsense.   
> Loads of love from me to you <3 Please don't hesitate to message me on twitter. twitter.com/arribelhq


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